Boycotting Wild Tymes

I can't even wait until morning to write this up right now. I just got home from seeing some of my best friends in tears of anger and disgust over today's news. 2 friends were Wrongfully Fired from Wild Tymes Bar in Saint Paul, Minnesota over an accusation of stolen money from a couple of weeks ago. What makes this a ridiculous termination is the fact that the two accused Made a ton of money that night, and because their head manager decide to mix up money from an outdoor sales point with the bucket that was tip money from that busy night because she wanted to drink and socialise like the rest of us on St. Pat's Day. And for the record, I can personally vouch for both of them as people of great character and integrity to the point where I would trust them with my bank and betting accounts, and I mean that with all the breath in my body. Another factor as to why this firing is both unjust and asinine is because they have been led by a faulty and incompetent Head Manager who can't even figure out how the bottles behind her bar are layed out. As one of their top patrons within the last several years (And I have the fucking credit card and bank statements to back that up) One should never hear dozens and dozens of complaints from staff about how things aren't being taken care of or how you aren't able to do simple tasks around your place of work, let alone lead a hard working staff of dedicated people to make money. I have brought in countless patrons and spread the word about this bar for the 5 years I have lived in St. Paul, and mark my words to death, on the grave of my resting and living family,I Will Never Appear At Wild Tymes Bar & Grill, I Will Never Promote Wild Tymes Bar & Grill
I ADVISE EVERY SINGLE PERSON, EITHER LIVING IN MINNESOTA OR TRAVELING INTO MINNESOTA TO NEVER, EVER, EVER DRINK OR EAT AT WILD TYMES BAR & GRILL!!!

 and as far as Musicians on your poorly run shit fucking stage and never paying artists
 I ADVISE EVERY SINGLE MUSICIAN IN THE COUNTRY TO NEVER, EVER, EVER PERFORM AT WILD TYMES UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!
My Former Band brought 300 people into the patio and booths of that establishment, and all that "I, Corvinus" ever got for that show was under 50 bucks and an overcooked pizza. The last project I performed with was "Banned" from playing there because Sandy felt "Threatened" by local street artist Tony Criss. The reason for this sentiment was because she was upset that he was cleared by neighboring bar Great Waters (A fine establishment located at 426 Saint Peter St, Fine craft beers if you like that sort of thing, I suggest you check them out next time you're Downtown or going to a Minnesota Wild game) had given him the OK to play at their patio. She responded by calling in a complaint to the police.

I would like to say in conclusion, that I am grateful for the amazing bartenders and servers I have met while drinking there and that I hope to see all of you guys and gals on a regular basis at different places of work and bars to socialize. And to you, Miss Manager (You know who the Fuck you are) and the ownership/management responsible for this unjust termination of the two best workers you had on staff, I hope that the future vacancies tagged along will run you right into the fucking toilet. And have fun training new staff in the middle of a  potential Minnesota Wild playoff run. Your incompetence will rub off and your establishment will crumble faster than the snowpile outside of 7th Place in the Spring.

HERE IS A LIST OF ACCEPTABLE BARS THAT PEOPLE SHOULD PATRONIZE IN DOWNTOWN SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA:


Amsterdam Bar & Hall (WONDERFUL PLACE TO HEAR & PERFORM MUSIC)
6 West 6th Street
612-285-3112
www.amsterdambarandhall.com

Alary's Bar (GREAT DRINK SPECIALS & SHUTTLE FOR WILD GAMES)
139 7th Street East
651-224-7717
www.alarys.com

Bullpen Sports Saloon (AWESOME DRINK SPECIALS & VERY NICE STAGE)
395 North Robert St
651-340-0583
www.bullpensportssaloon.com

Bulldog Lowertown (EXCELLENT TAP SELECTION AND GREAT FOOD)
237 East 6th Street
651-221-0750
www.thebulldoglowertown.com

Great Waters Brewery (FINE CRAFT BREWERY AND SOLID FOOD)
426 Saint Peter Street
651-224-2739
www.greatwatersbc.com

Accountablity

“If you hang out with chickens, you're going to cluck 

and if you hang out with eagles, you're going to fly.”

― Steve Maraboli

This previous weekend was St. Patrick's Day. My favorite holiday of the year, a time to celebrate intense hours of drinking, partying and camaraderie. This year's celebration meant a lot to me considering how I was in poor health and unknowingly near death around this point last year. The fact that I was able to drink for about 32 of the 48 hours between Saturday and Sunday is both miraculous and a testament to what one's body can do and how your mind can will it to happen.

But upon recapping and patching the weekend's events, it trickled down into what I have previously stated on here and as well as how I have changed socially in the last several months. There are a lot of people, either directly connected or via friends of friends or acquaintances, that drink and cannot be held accountable for themselves when hitting a drunken level. Now I understand full well that drinking tolerance with in a person is like a snowflake, never two alike. But the disparity of events branches all genders, races, religions, shapes and sizes. People need to take time in their lives to figure out how they can handle things. If you like to drink, you should know your limits with alcohol before you go out and drink. Maybe it's making sure you eat beforehand. Maybe it's you can't drink Jagermeister like it's water after 5 hours. Whatever the circumstance, set the rules with your mind and body and follow accordingly, breaking them for nothing and nobody at any time.

Saturday night, I met a chick who had been drinking, but was clearly coherent, said she was alone and wanted to have fun. I danced with this lady and we had a shot before she started to harass a friend of mine and then proceeded to straddle some random guy a few minutes later. A combination of pissed, stunned and general disgust came about me and I was ready to leave. I find out later that this chick wasn't alone and was actually with her boyfriend who was working his ass off bartending for the night and was good friends with said harassed friend. Now this slut more than likely went home with her boyfriend and chalked all of what went down up to "Oh, I just had too many drinks." No Fucking Accountability for the fact that A: She apparently reached a point to where she could no longer hold her liquor intake, and B: Was clearly trying to have fun with someone other than her boyfriend While He's In the Goddamn Bar. When I danced with her, it turned from casual 2-step to her bent down in front of me pretty fast. But I'm sure that all is well in her head for now and that this same event will occur at another bar with another set of people.

I have never seen people eat so much food that they cannot digest anymore of it and then they projectile vomit and shit their pants around the entire room, but dozens upon dozens of times will people go and blame the dumb, mindless, reckless, stupid shit they say and fucking do over a bottle.

Grow. The. Fuck. Up.

I have reached a point of disgust to where there are some calls I won't answer when going out because I refuse, as a grown ass adult who got over drinking in excess because it "seemed cool", and can not handle my alcohol and realise my tolerance, I Refuse to drink with people who bring nothing but drama and bullshit and just lose there motherfucking minds when they drink. And I'm not talking about getting Drunk. That happens to us all and people can still be casual while drunk. I'm not talking about getting sick because that can happen as well and be from a number of reasons. But when you have a track record of fights, blackouts, broken shit, arguments, injuries, "I dunno what the fuck happened, Dude where's my car" kind of shit, it's time for a re-evaluation of life and asking the question of is alcohol right for you. And while you're off figuring that out, I'll be at the bar having a great, drama-free time drinking.

Recipes for St. Patrick's Weekend

Tomorrow and Sunday will be one of my favorite 48 Hour gaps of the Year, as we kick off Saint Patrick's Day Weekend. Here in Saint Paul, our parade is going down on Saturday, despite the Sunday date for the actual holiday. I am hosting an annual pre-parade party at my place and these are the items I am serving:

Cutter Burgers:

This is a recipe that came about from several different burger cooking methods. I love burger joints like  SmashBurger and Steak & Shake, and could never really figure out their "Smash" Techniques exactly. I also loved White Castle growing up and the concept of the "Slider" burgers. So combining the two ideas, I came up with the "Cutter" burgers (a double entendre/play on words, if you will, because in Baseball, the opposite pitch of a Slider is a Cutter, and because a cookie cutter is used as well.)

Utensils:

Large Cookie Sheet (13 x 18 is what I have)

Rolling Pin (Wooden is fine, Granite if you're a bad-ass)

Skillet Pan (Griddle is okay, Grill pan not so much for this one)

Wax Paper

Spatula WITHOUT SLOTS! (Metal is best, but Vinyl will do)

Cookie Cutter (OR A Double Shot Glass)

(Side Story: Baking isn't my deal. So when I read about using a cookie cutter, I thought "Oh, I can go to a store and buy one of those." I went to several stores (Wal-Mart, Target, Rainbow Grocery, Walgreens) and NONE of them had a fuckin cookie cutter. Wal-Mart had a box of 101 Cookie Cutters, with "Fun Shapes". Needless to say I didn't buy 101 cookie cutters. So if you aren't fortunate enough to make real cookies in kid-friendly shapes, use a double shot glass. I assume that you own a set since you read this blog.)

Ingredients

1 Large Package Ground Beef (80/20 works fine)

1/2 Stick of Unsalted Butter

1/2 Cup Burger Seasoning (I use Black Pepper, Cayenne Pepper, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Cumin, Oregano, and a dash of Sea Salt. Mixed into a shaker. You can buy Weber Grill seasoning too and it will be equally bad-ass)

1: Place a piece of Wax Paper onto Cookie Sheet and season all over with Burger seasoning.

2. Place 1/2 package of Ground Beef onto sheet, Top with another piece of wax paper.

3. Take rolling pin and flatten Beef out until streched and covering majority of the sheet

4. Remove top piece of paper and season top side of Beef with burger seasoning.

5. Re-Cover beef and Place in refrigerator for 10 minutes

6. Heat Skillet pan over medium-high heat for 3-4 minutes and melt 1/4 piece of butter (the pan needs to be really fucking hot)

7. Once skillet is hot, remove Beef from fridge, Discard top layer of wax paper.

8. Take Cookie Cutter/Double Shot glass and press out circles. Lift with spatula and place in skillet

9. After 90 Seconds, Flip Burger and PRESS HARD down into the skillet. Be careful of splashback from the butter and meat juices. Press for about 20-30 Seconds then leave on for another 90 Seconds, before Flipping and Pressing again. It should take between 2 to 3 minutes to cook well done

10. After batch is done, Repeat steps 1-5 with Second 1/2 of Beef.

11. Serve with toppings and Enjoy. 

St. Patrick's Punch

I just tried this out today, People love when I make my Super Punch for Super Bowl, so I decided to come up with a Punch for St. Pat's:

3 Bottles of 100-Proof Vodka (1 Liter)

2 Bottles of UV Blue Vodka (1 Liter)

2 Bottles of Minute Maid Lemonade (2 Liters)

2 Bottles of Sprite (2-Liters)

1 Bottle of Malibu Melon Liquor (750 ML)

1 Large Can/6 Small Cans of Pineapple Juice

Green Food Coloring

Combine in a Cooler IN THIS EXACT ORDER!!!

1. 100 Proof Vodka
2. Malibu Melon
3. Sprite 
4. Lemonade & UV Blue AT THE SAME TIME
5. Dash of Food Coloring
6. 100 Proof Vodka #2
7. Pineapple Juice
8. Sprire #2 (Half-Bottle)
9. UV Blue #2
10. Lemonade #2
11. 100 Proof Vodka #3
12. Rest of Sprite #2
13. Another Dash of Food Coloring (if desired)

When Finished, It should be as Green as the Chicago River!

Happy Fuckin' Valentine's Day

Hallmark and Hershey present to you a carnival of emotions. This day sounds ridiculous, but could be really awesome or really shitty depending on your status of a significant other. We all know where I stand there, but for those who do have someone special and magical in their lives (and there really are some people who have that... For the moment at least) then this day should be celebrated in a grand fashion, but everyday forward as well. If you really mean the shit you "said" in a $9 card (which you don't) then live that life and bring your guy/girl roses on August 5th, and June 26th, and October 2nd, because true love doesn't have one set day.

Now for the rest of us miserable ass singles, people who try to fake themselves into being happy by throwing the "this is a celebration of me today" card out (in my opinion, more pathetic than just cursing this day off outright)

A mini-background on my history on February 14th, I thought this was a cool holiday when I was a kid, because copious amounts of candy were involved (now I'd rather have a holiday with copious amounts of liquor) and because I have always been one of those faulty "Believe in Love" kind of guys. My first crush was when I was 6 years old, and I gave her a Ring Pop in proposal fashion. She accepted the ring and rejected me, starting the viciously depressing cycle timeclock that became my love life. Over 9 years of grammar school, I was shut down 5 times on V-Day. Then High School hit and this day became irrelevant, considering I went to a All-Boys school and worked 2 side jobs, I just kinda bypassed this day for 4 years.

Everything changed in 2009, when I moved up here to Minnesota, and found myself dating someone for the entire 2nd month of that year. Me being me, I decided to cook dinner at home for the night for 2 reasons: 1-Dinner at home can sound more romantic to some chicks than going out somewhere. 2-The Slam Dunk Contest was on that night. Now this sounds like a great idea but 19 year old me couldn't cook like current me, so I basically improvised and bought some Domino's buffalo chicken and cut it up and tossed it into a salad. It came out okay, dinner went well, and the night ended with a nice make-out session and a good slam dunk contest (literally, that was the year Dwight Howard did the crazy Superman dunk. Now he's got about as much game as the real Superman... Still too soon?). Point of note: Did not have sex on that date, despite it being our 5th date, that trend continued for a couple more dates and she was placed on Waivers that March 1st.

Cut to 4 years later, still single, not even a single prospect and while it's not the worst thing ever, it's just a testament to most of the things I've blogged about on here. The landscape of dating is about as fucked as the American Unemployment Rate and it's not getting any better. So Here I rant, Bottle of Grey Goose by my side. Here's to another Valentine's Day

A Big Bowl of Super

Yesterday was the 47th installment of the Super Bowl, the NFL Championship Game. The Baltimore Ravens are now World Champions after beating the San Fran 49ers on a missed holding call (with the good officials too, not the Foot Locker staff) The game was very entertaining, and so were the Commercials. Here are some of my favorites from yesterday:

1. GoDaddy.com Commercial featuring Danica Patrick, Bar Refaeli and one lucky ass nerd.
Why, oh why couldn't I have been casted for this ad? I have some TV experience. They did 45 takes in this shot. No word on how many times he had to change pants.

2. Geico Commercial featuring Dikembe Mutumbo
Former NBA player Dikembe Mutumbo is everywhere doing what he does best. Very funny for those who remember the 90's star, but still a close 2nd to the Eddie Money bit which debuted at SB 46

3. Audi Commercial featuring the New 2013 Audi S6
Between Walter from the GoDaddy bit, the Ravens (who were +4.5) and this kid, it was a night for the underdogs.

4. Doritos Commercial featuring a Goat
Guy buys a dorito-loving goat. Hilarity ensues.

5. Oreo Commercial - Cookie vs Cream
What happens when a dispute takes place in a library?

6. Mercedes-Benz Commercial featuring Kate Upton Washing a Car in Slow Motion
OK, so it's not #1 because, well it's basically false advertising. But it's on the list because it's still Kate Upton in Slow-Motion. I'll take that anyday.

HONORABLE MENTION: This should have aired last night and it would have been #2 for sure.

My First Real Rant of 2013.

OK, so It's the last day of the first month of 2013. I don't have any real serious issues about life at the moment like usual. I have had some pretty good days so far this year to lead off, but I do have some small complaints on general human life that I'd like to get off of my chest.

* Tonight, I just left Mickey's Diner. The World Famous "Mighty Ducks Restaurant where Charlie's Mom Worked" in Downtown Saint Paul. it's 1:45am. I walk in to see a fellow Chicagoan eating with his woman and child, while wearing a Blackhawks jersey (they played here, lost in a shootout) and he's blasted drunk, cursing about him also losing his job as well as us "Sucking" tonight (Hawks actually played well against a good Wild team. fucking moron.) He eventually accosts 4 tourists from Chicagoland who were at the game, and disrupts their late night meal and even threatened two of my good friends who walked in about a milkshake (an incident I learned about after he left because I would have decked him at that point myself)  I'm just sick and fucking tired of people who make my city look bad, be it here or back at home. It's so sad and embarassing to see the death and struggle and crime in my hometown, and for fucking morons from their to make themselves look bad while representing our proud city and our sports teams makes me fucking sick. (For the record, said asshole is also a Cubs fan. explains a bit more)


* I've been watching this show "Girls" that comes on HBO. I'm catching up online because I refuse to spend any more cash on cable in this year than I have to. I'm watching the First Season, really funny shit, very awkward sex scenes but just a generally funny show. And then I hit Episode 4 and 5, when one of the charactors (SORRY, SPOILER ALERT!)  who has had a long going issue with her boyfriend about how he was so into her and that she doesn't love him as much, eventually they breakup after the BF reads the diary of the main character (who is BFF's with the GF) and then the Girlfriend gets mad at her friend, get this. FOR WRITING THIS SHIT IN HER PERSONAL DIARY! Are You Fucking Bleeping Me right now! She got upset because her friend knew the truth about how she felt, and so what does the Girlfriend do, she chases the newly crowned ex-boyfriend, and they talk and she literally begs him to take her back, which leads to this awkward sex scene and she ends up bumping her head on this partition of the bed, as if she has a fucking epiphany, and BAM!, She wants to break up with him. I have never been so mad at a scene from a television show in my entire fucking life as I was when I saw this shit. And what made me sooooo upset about this, is because THIS SHIT REALLY HAPPENS IN REAL FUCKING LIFE!!!! Countless people (mostly women) I Know who have fucking dealt with some bullshit relationship or situation where they are unhappy and yet when they realise it, and do the right thing by ending the relationship, they get sad and fucking hormonal and then decide to change their minds as if AS IF the fucking situation has flipped over like a fucking piece of paper on a windy day and that everything is cute, cool and hunky-fucking-dorey now after that happened. THE. DUMBEST. SHIT. I'VE. EVER/ SEEN. OR. HEARD. EVER! Stop It! Stop subjecting yourself to situations to where you are being treated like dogshit, because eventually, if you keep doing it, you will become the dogshit you are being treated like. Start using that fucking grey matter up top and quit being a dumbass and treat yourself better in life.


* I'm going to end this rant on a note that I've also said before. Mean what you say, and say what you mean, because no one likes a hypocrite, nor does anyone like someone who blames their actions and thoughts on other outside shit. I can outdrink the fucking populous of the neighborhood I live in and I've heard 3 different people in 24 hours blame shit they've done on either drinking or being "out of it" Get your fucking shit together and stop using anything, be it person or substance, to blame for anything you've done. If it's a mistake, it's a mistake and own up to it, but be real with the shit. Hide behind something like a coward, fucking fade like a coward.


Thanks folks. Have fun this weekend! Super Bowl is this Sunday! Bet the Niners and the Over!

Grab Bag #18: Bunch of Shit

Happy 2013 Everyone! There's been a lot of shit to talk about, so let's hop into it!

* Some really good commercials out on TV recently. My favorites are the Geico Eddie Money Travel Agency, the Zoosk Heart, and the whole set of Wendy's ads with the super hot redhead. As much as I hate most fast-food, I would eat a meal from there to meet this lady. 

* The NFL Playoffs are Well underway. Lots of shockers with the Baltimore Ravens upsetting the Denver Broncos and the Green Bay Packers finding another way to "Discount Double Choke" in the postseason against the San Francisco 49ers. Hopefully Ray Lewis can capture a title to end up his Hall of Fame Career.

* The NHL Lockout has finally ended. However, the fans are left with a crammed schedule, and worries about injury issues with guys only dealing with one week of training camp. Not every player went overseas or trained on-ice as much, but we shall see a sloppy, grittier game that hopefully will not be bogged down with poor officiating like the end of last season. Gary Bettman is a fucking piece of shit and I'll sip champagne when his eyes close just like I did for Bill Wirtz.

* DJANGO UNCHAINED IS THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL-TIME!!!

Seriously. Most of you who know me well know my favorite movie ever is Scarface. Well that all changed a couple days after X-Mas when I went to see Django. It's Scarface, Pulp Fiction, The Help, and Smokin' Aces bundled into one. There's some Tarentino-quality humor parts and some amazing twists and turns that only Quentin can pull off. Excellent acting by everyone from Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Samuel L. Jackson, Kerry Washington, and a couple of surprise faces I won't ruin for you if you haven't seen it. GO SEE THIS FUCKING MOVIE! IT'S AHHMAZZING!!!

* A band to Check out in 2013 is Beast Patrol. This Glam-ish Indie trio from N.Y.C has the right mix of 80's grit and modern sound. Their EP, "Fierce & Grateful" has been spinning constantly on my laptop for months now. Listen to it HERE

* Later this Month, I will start doing interviews with interesting people from some of the subjects I talk about on here, Such as Food, Sports, Dating, Music, and Booze. So stay tuned for that new segment and if you have any suggestions of people I should interview, E-mail courtsideseatstohell@gmail.com

* Congrats to the Alabama Crimson Tide Football team, who captured the National Title by stomping out Notre Dame. But an even bigger congratulations goes out to QB A.J. McCarron, for not only winning on the field, but winning off the field by dating 2012 Miss Alabama winner Katherine Webb. This southern belle got ESPN Commentator Brent Musberger all hot and bothered and caused many a fellow (myself included) to conduct a thorough Google Search to see who she was.

*

2012: Reviewed

Well, here we are. We didn't get wiped out by The Rapture that was supposed to go down on 12/21/12, and the Blog is almost a year old. For me, personally, I am sooooo glad 2012 is finishing up. I did not have a wonderful year. I left my old band, and subsequently took a break from music. In March, I had to have an emergency gallbladder removal surgery, and in the last several months, I've had to deal with a serious illness in my family. A few cool things did take place this year however. I made some new friends, started this little blog that you are reading, attended my 500th live sporting event, and re-modeled my apartment. A lot of wild and stupid shit happened too, Such as me recently cracking my front tooth outside of a bar and me almost sleeping with a chick with braces

As far as the world around us, well, there was plenty of bullshit to keep us busy. From Television and Media garbage like Honey Boo Boo, Gangnam Style and 50 Shades of Gray (Bored) to the Election (zzzzzz....) Even sports was crazy this year with the NHL Lockout, the Saints Bounty Scandal and the Replacement Refs in the NFL

Basically, 2012 was a reflective year. A year full of experiences to learn from and use to better ourselves in the future ahead.

Anyways, I want to thank every last single person who has viewed this Blog in 2012. What started as a drunken facebook rant and a nifty idea from a couple of my friends has turned into my soapbox which, based on your responses, have made you laugh, pissed you off, and most importantly, made you think for a little bit. I am happy that I can contribute to your day with the crazy thoughts in my head.

So, raise a glass of something strong and let's toast 2012 goodbye, and to an awesome 2013 ahead.

Have a Happy, Safe and Epic New Year. And like I always remind you, Keep your genitals out of harm's way.

Alex B. Smith
Courtside Seats to Hell

Grab Bag #16: Boxing, Booze and Broads. Yeah. I like that combo.

* This Saturday, Boxing Great Manny Pacquiao is facing Juan Manuel Marquez for the 4th time in their epic rivalry. This clash for modern boxing fans is our answer to the throwback slugfests of Sugar Ray Leonard vs Roberto Duran or Arturo Gatti vs Mickey Ward. This will be a fight to watch. If you aren't into boxing, you should start watching with this fight. Or check out this cool video. And this video

* Holiday time is upon us, and you're probably gonna go home to see family or invite family over. And 9.9 out of 10 families are fucking crazy, Here's something to ease the insanity (maybe)

*Rangpur Rickey
- 2 Shots Tanqueray Rangpur (Lime) Gin
- 1 ounce Lime Juice
- 1/ 2 ounce simple syrup
- dash of Soda Water

Build in a rocks glass and serve with a Lime Wedge

*Johnnie Walker Black Label Neat
- 1 1/2 shots Johnnie Walker Black Label
Pour in a glass and serve with a side glass of water


*Baileys Spiced Cake Martini
2 Shots Bailey's Hazelnut
1 shot Smirnoff Iced Cake Vodka
1 sprinkle Nutmeg

Shake and strain into martini glass, sprinkle with nutmeg


*Speaking of wonderful and tastey things, (Send the kids out of the room) I always like to recap what I've done after I get through having sex. So last week, I was with this girl, running my usual routine and I realised some more observations:

1: I get the appeal of Doggy Style, but I'm not overly crazy about it. As a larger gentleman, either I have to get into this weird Victory / Tebowing pose or I have to just push her down like a ramp and it's  just not as fun as porn makes it out to be.

2. I use regular ribbed condoms, they work for their dual  purposes and feel nice, But I understand flavored condoms. It's weird when you're banging and then when you switch positions, you take a small break by going back down on her and you taste straight plastic

3. Smile! and Laugh! Sex is so much fun, why would you not laugh a little bit? I know whenever I'm having a great time, I'm all smiles and giggles.


*Hey wanna get me something for X-mas? This would be awesome!

Talk to ya later, Boneless Wings conclusion coming this weekend (Get Excited!)

Grab Bag #15: Give Up Your Clothes, Drink in Lakeview and Recapping The Election

Hello, sorry for being gone so long. Been with family in Chicago.

* As you all know, Hurricane Sandy kicked the shit out of the northeast corridor a couple weeks ago (thoughts and prayers with all affected, especially any of my readers out there)
Of course the Red Cross is asking for your financial contributions, but these people have lost EVERYTHING. So one thing I have plenty to donate and I'm sure a lot of you do as well is Clothing.

I am donating clothes from here in Chicago, as well as when I get back to Minnesota. So I'm asking everyone to take the time and look in your closets and dressers and get out some of those shirts and pants and stuff you haven't worn in awhile and help some people out. I'm looking to see which organizations are taking donations straight to the Northeast area. I'm guessing either Red Cross or Salvation Army (Call your local location and ask)


* Being up here in Chicago for way too long For the last week+ I went to some bars over in the Lakeview area. One great spot located on the corner of Sheffield & Wellington called DMK Burger Bar, a Nebraska Cornhusker bar called Kirkwood Bar and an All-Ohio bar called Vaughan's Pub. I recommend visting all 3 of these spots if you are around the North Side of town.

* So, we have our President back in office. Barack Obama defeated Mitt Romney to retain the title last night. Here are some key points from the election coverage I noticed:

- If you watched WGN in the Chicago area or WGN America last night after the victory was announced, Melanie Griffith was being interviewed and she dropped the F-bomb last night on live TV (she said she was Fucking Excited) few people caught it, @bakeanddestroy mentioned it on her Twitter and there doesn't seem to be any video of it online, but it happened.

- I don't watch a ton of financial television networks and especially haven't watched Bloomberg TV since it was a DirecTV only channel and I had a shitty H.S project involving Overseas Stocks (long story) but I watched most of the election coverage on here and I enjoyed hearing the financial aspect of  how the election would affect the nation.

...Did you really buy that above? hahahah, I watched and found my new television crush Trish Regan. With those green eyes and that whiskey-cigarette voice. I actually paid attention to most of whatever they were talking about.

- Wolf Blitzer didn't seem as racist as usual last night. Still not a fan. Asshole.

Ok, enough election talk. Have a good day. And don't forget, Barack still runs the military, if you want that beef

Grab Bag #14: Fall Time Drinks, Home Shopping Hilarity and some Food Porn (the good kind)

* So, one thing I like to do year-round is change up what I'm drinking. Here are 3 tasty beverages to sip on while it starts to get cooler outside:

Boulevard

2 oz rye whiskey (I like Bulleit Rye)
1/2 oz Grand Marnier® orange liqueur
1/2 oz dry vermouth

Stir with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with flamed orange peel, and serve

Cider Punch

1 1/2 qt hard cider
4 oz Drambuie® Scotch whisky
4 oz dry sherry
2 oz lemon juice
8 oz club soda
3 cored, thinly sliced apples
1 tspgrated nutmeg

Place the cider, Drambuie, sherry, lemon juice and club soda into a large punch bowl, and stir well. Add a large block of ice, then add the slices of apple. Sprinkle nutmeg across the top, and serve. Makes 18 (6-ounce) punch cups.

Bourbon Blackhawk

2 oz bourbon whiskey
1 oz sloe gin
1 maraschino cherry

In a mixing glass half-filled with ice cubes, combine the bourbon and sloe gin. Stir and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with the cherry.

* Have you guys seen this shit? a lady selling some crap on QVC apparently faints on Live TV and her co-host just keeps talking and selling whatever crap they were getting rid of. Video of it HERE

This is right up there with some of the best home shopping bloopers of all time, like these
Retro Ladder Fail: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZhMfzc9RbU

Sword Fail: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2EQWCpnIR8

Another Ladder Fail: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC70vdm4Al0

* Today, I bought myself and my mom a ton of quality meat and seafood from Omaha Steaks. Their Website is basically a hardcore food porn site for carnivores

Grab Bag #13: Lots of Stuff

Sorry that's it's been so long since I've posted on here (with the exception of my College Football Polls)

I have been busy struggling with losing my bets and out drinking, as usual. But there has been lots going on, so let's catch up right quick:

* I'm getting my feet back into the door in the world of music, I am working with some musicians on a blues project here in St. Paul and also doing some session gigs as well. This comes in perfect timing with me about to buy a new Bass Guitar this month. I will keep you guys posted on any shows I ever do right here on the blog.

* I don't know how me or my friends or anyone who likes real fuckin Rap missed this last Killer Mike album, "R.A.P".  This has to be one of the best albums I've heard in awhile. My favorite track right now is "Untitled" but you can listen to the entire album HERE

*Coming up soon will be my 2012 Election Preview. It's one of two times I will talk about the Race for President. Remember this Isn't CNN or Fox News, but keep an eye out for it within the next month.

* Fall is officially here in town, weather-wise. Time to turn off the A.C and dry clean those comforters. Here's a Whiskey to try out and I'll leave you with an awesome recipe for one of my favorite cold-weather dishes, and the closest thing to soup that I'll ever eat, Chili!



Total recipe time: 2-2-3/4 hours
Makes 4 servings

Ingredients
1-1/2 pounds Ground Round
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
Salt
Black Pepper
Paprika
1 medium onion, chopped
1 small bag of yellow and white corn
1 medium jalapeño pepper, minced (with seeds)
2 cans (14-1/2 ounces each) chili-seasoned diced tomatoes

Instructions
Heat 1 tablespoon oil in stockpot over medium heat until hot. Brown 1/2 of beef; remove from stockpot. Repeat with remaining beef. Remove beef from stockpot. Season with salt, pepper and paprika, as desired. Add remaining 1 tablespoon oil, onion and jalapeño pepper to stockpot. Cook and stir 5 to 8 minutes or until vegetables are tender. Return beef and juices to stockpot. Add tomatoes and corn; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover tightly and simmer 1-3/4 to 2-1/4 hours or until beef is fork-tender.

UPDATE: Changes made to the Football Days Schedule

http://axsmith.blogspot.com/2012/07/courtside-seats-to-hell-presents.html

Some new updates and changes to the Football Days events, Including a new Tailgate party in Chicago for the Northwestern - Boston College game on September 15th.

Grab Bag #12: Jaz is Alive, Alex dances and dries out, and would you like some tortilla chips?

*Wonderful news about Killing Joke singer Jaz Coleman. He was reported missing by his bandmates a couple weeks ago, but we learned today that he is safe and well and was in the Western Sahara working on a new symphony.

*After 2 incidents of blacking out, vomiting, and not remembering what happened, I have decided to dry out for the next week or so. I'm getting a bit tired of having my right side hurting every morning when I wake up and I'm trying to drink away some of the shit I've been dealing with lately, which isn't a good idea. While I know, very few people don't enjoy and/or have never encountered me sober, I assure you all, I will do my best not to injure or obliterate anyone, even if you say something stupid around me. Maybe.

* Another reason to put the bottle down for a bit: This 30-second gem filmed this past weekend

* I have an awesome recipe for Homemade Tortilla Chips:

Ingredients

Peanut oil, for frying

8 fresh flour tortillas

House Seasoning, recipe follows

Directions

Heat 1-inch of peanut oil in a large frying pan over medium-high heat to 350 degrees.

Arrange the tortillas in a stack and cut into 6 equal wedges like a pizza. Fry a few chips at a time, turning occasionally with a slotted spoon, until crisp and lightly browned, ABOUT 10-20 SECONDS! (any longer and they will burn!) Drain chips on a paper towel-lined plate; sprinkle lightly with House Seasoning and store in an airtight container.

House Seasoning:

1 cup salt

1/4 cup black pepper

1/2 teaspoon chili powder

Mix ingredients together and store in an airtight container for up to 6 months.

They should come out looking epic, like above.

Grab Bag #11: LOL (Lots of Links)

* One of my new addictions online is this food recipe mega-search engine called Foodily. As you all know, I love to cook and try out new recipes and put twists on old classics. if you like to do the same, this site is a must-bookmark in your browser. You can also favorite different recipes, make lists and share them with friends on the site or on Facebook as well.


* One interesting sports story today is 50 Cent apparently filed and received a Boxing Promoter's Licence in New York this week. He is supposedly going to start a promotion company and draw in currently locked up Welterweight Champion Floyd Mayweather to fight arguably, the best fighter of the 21st Century, Manny Pacquiao, in what would easily be called The Fight of The Century. The door gate and Pay-Per-View draw of this event would rival money made in some of the last several Super Bowls and big Box Office movie hits that have been released in the recent times. I will be keeping an ear open on this story, and while a lot of you might not follow boxing (I am a huge boxing fan, and used to do cornerwork in fights after graduating H.S.) It will be a Breaking News story on here if that fight is announced.


* Been following this story about the ongoing trouble Chick-Fil-A has been through. For those of you who don't know, Chick-Fil-A is an awesomely tasty chicken place that is hard to find in the Midwest, but littered throughout the South. They have their "Old Southern Values" such as being closed on Sundays and apparently not supporting Gay Marriage. Let me now state a disclaimer


*DISCLAIMER* Courtside Seats to Hell has no problem with any couples being together or married, Gay, Lesbian, Straight, Whatever. Get Married if you like (Personally, Marriage seems dumb in general, but people do dumb shit all the time)


That being said, now Chicago, Boston, Philly and other cities are about to try and boycott Chick-Fil-A's from being opened in their respective cities. However, disallowing a franchise to open somewhere violates some Constitutional rights. I hope that things can be resolved so that we can just let people have their rights. Gays and Lesbians need their rights to marry, and I could really use a chicken sandwich about now.



* Read a study about the effects of Alcohol mixed with energy drinks of high caffeine (Vodka-Red Bulls and Jager Bombs) Basically telling us that the combo is dangerous and leads to reckless behavior and lots of casual sex. In other news, I have now started buying women more Vodka-Red Bulls at bars. But seriously, these can be tasty combos, you should just drink them in moderation

*One more thing, check out this awesome recipe I found on Foodily that I'll be making all Football Season long.

Courtside Seats to Hell Presents FOOTBALL DAYS 2012

So with Summer winding down in the next several weeks, NFL and College Football teams are hitting the field and working out, getting ready for combat on the gridiron this fall.

While usually I disappear from people during football season the last several years, this year I have charted out a plan of throwing a season-long set of Bar Crawls and House Party viewings to watch the games this season. We also have some possible Tailgate road trips to Chicago and Minneapolis planned

So, without further ado, here's the first half tentative viewing party schedule:

NOTE: Times and Bars Subject to Change, and Bars listed at TBD will be updated soon

Courtside Seats to Hell presents the 2012 Football Tailgate + Party Days

Friday Aug 24th - Bears vs Giants @ Alary's

Thurs Aug 30th - Kickoff Party @ Chateau

Sat Sept 1st - Kickoff Party @ Chateau

Wed Sep 5th - NFL Kickoff (Cowboys-Giants @ Kelly's Bar)

Sat Sept 8th -

Nebraska @ Tom Reid's - Night

Sun Sept 9th - 

Bears vs Colts @ Alary's - Day

Steelers vs Broncos @ McGovern's - Night

Thur Sept 13th -

Bears-Packers @ Chateau - Night

Sat Sept 15th - Tailgate in Chicago for Northwestern-Boston College

Sun Sept 16th - Off Day

Thurs Sept 20th - Panthers @ TBD? - Night

Sat Sept 22nd - Kansas vs NIU @ Tiffany's

Sun Sept 23rd - Bears @ Alary's

Sat Sept 29th -

Bar Spot for Gophers-Iowa - Day

Sun Sept 30th - Party @ Chateau

Mon Oct 1st - Bears vs Cowboys @ Alary's - Night

Sat Oct 6th - Miami vs Notre Dame @ Bar TBD

Sun Oct 7th - Bears vs Jaguars @ Alary's - Day

Thurs Oct 11th - Steelers @ McGovern's - Night

Sat Oct 13th - Homecoming Tailgate - Minnesota vs Northwestern

Sun Oct 14th - Packers vs Texans @ Gabe's?

Mon Oct 15th - Broncos vs Chargers @ TBD??

Sat Oct 20th - Nebraska @ Tom Reid's

Sun Oct 21st - 

Vikings vs Arizona @ TBD - Day

Steelers vs Cincinnati @ McGovern's - Night

Mon Oct 22nd - Bears vs Detroit @ Alary's

Thurs Oct 25th - Vikings vs Tampa Bay - Tailgate at Dome???

Sat Oct 27th - Party @ Chateau

Sun Oct 28th -

Bears vs Panthers @ Alary's - Day

Broncos vs Saints @ TBD - Night

Sat Nov 3rd - Tailgate @ TCF for Gophers-Michigan???

Sun Nov 4th - Bears @ Alary's

Wed Nov 7th - Bowling Green-Ohio at ABB

Sat Nov 10th - Party @ Chateau

Sun Nov 11th - Bears @ Alary's - Night

Mon Nov 12th - Steelers @ McGovern's

...More Dates to be Added Later in the Season

Impaired Moment #356

So here's a story about what happened yesterday. A tale of drinking on an empty stomach, true friendship and bad ideas.

I went out yesterday morning and had lunch with a friend. Taking it easy, I just order a chicken salad and a pop. Cut to 5 hours later where I have a nap and wake up to start drinking a Thug Passion (read previous post from a few months ago on said drink recipe) Then, I go across the street, where there is a music in the park festival going on, and I meet up with some friends. After sitting there and seeing a bunch of uncoordinated people clap to some half-assed jazz covers, we go and hit a couple of bars.

During this small bar crawl, I did manage to scarf down a pork sandwich but that holds liquor like a UPS box holds water. Eventually, I am outside at a bar really close to my house. This is where shit goes bad. 2 of my friends go home, and at this point I'm really drunk. I get a text from this girl who I used to be into and she was at a bar down the street. Me and a friend who stuck around go down there and before I could have a drink, I turn and go home. I rush to the bathroom and I coughed twice, knowing what's on deck. My pork sandwich and thug passion is in the sink. I quickly grab a red cup and transfer contents to the toilet (my friend later helped clean my bathroom, I owe him a case of beer now, such a nice guy) and after slamming a (different) cup of water, I decide to go back to the bar.

This is where shit REALLY Goes bad. My Friend has a friend of a friend who, well let's just say will never be on the cover of Vogue anytime soon. About my height (probably a couple inches taller than me actually) slightly below average body and had braces (Yes, she was old enough to drink, Your Honor) This lady was having the time of her life, and was visibly looking for some nightcap action. But, she was getting shut down (for obvious aesthetic reasons) and I felt bad for her. I had briefly chatted with her and she was a nice person just wanting to have a good time.

Now it's bar close, everyone's outside. My other buddies are waiting for a cab and Lady wants to know where the after-party is. Me, still drunk (only had 2 pints of water the 2nd time around) decides to make a selfish charity donation and commits to bringing her and her friend (they play the Ashford & Simpson scene at bars, if ya catch my drift) back to my place. We drink some more (...oh, Me? I'm drinking "vodka" on the rocks - lowball glass of water)

Eventually, sobriety grows within me and my guilt and booze influenced idea fades, and thankfully, Ashford takes Simpson home and I eventually pass out for the night.

What I hope you learn from this story is to always eat a good meal before drinking heavy. And make sure you have a good support system of friends around too.

Grab Bag #10: Hot Dogs, Music and Booze for the 4th

*Whoa, so I read a Huffington Post article and slide show talking about the Chinese Dog Meat Industry. That shit is fucking real and about as crazy as you'd imagine. Piles of puppies shaved and ready for human consumption. People here say its crazy because it's man's best friend (to some, not me) but we must keep in mind it's a different culture. Indians (Dot, not woo-woo) worship cows as gods. Me, I pray to a Filet Migeon whenever I have $50 burning in my pocket. I will note that the images in the article are pretty graphic, so if you're not into that thing... who am I kidding, you're reading my blog, you probably aren't That squeamish.

So this leads us to our first ever poll question here at Courtside Seats to Hell:
Would you eat a Dog?  


The Voting box will be posted on the side.


*Saw Volbeat the other night. I get what the hype's all about. These guys are fun to watch and really talented. I love their cover version of "Only Wanna Be With You"

*People have requested that I post more drink recipes, so here are a few:

Clean Suburban
- 2 shots Absolut Berry Acai Vodka
- 4 seedless Blueberries
- dash of Lemon Juice
- 8 oz fresh Lemonade

Muddle 2 blueberries in a mixing glass and add ice, a dash of lemon juice, and 2 shots of Acai vodka. Shake and strain into a chilled highball and fill glass with fresh lemonade

Downtown Baller
- 2.5 oz Ciroc Coconut
- 1 oz Lime Juice
- Lime Wedge

Mix Ciroc and Lime Juice in an ice filled shaker. Shake and strain on the rocks in a lowball glass, garnish with lime wedge.

Forest Lake Special
- 6 oz Captain Morgan
- 1 can monster

Mix together with ice in one of those Holiday gas station cups. Remember, this drink is from Forest Lake, Minnesota.


If I don't see ya before then, have a happy and safe 4th of July. Don't blow off any limbs. 
And to my Chicagoans, don't get in that damn lake!

3 Drinks You Should Try This Summer

So, summer is basically upon us. This is the time of the year where I lighten up my liquor color,
but increase my intake. So here are 3 drinks you will catch me sippin' on from Now till Labor Day.

Twisted Sister
3 oz Seagram's Gin
2 oz 7-UP
Juice of a Lemon & a Lime
Fill rocks glass with ice, squeeze Lemon and Lime over the ice, then add Gin and 7-UP

New Thug Passion
3 oz Belvidere
2 oz Fu-Ki Cherry Sake
Shake with ice and strain in a rocks glass neat


The Chateau Cooler
3 oz Absolut Grapevine (Passion fruit & Guava Flavored Vodka)
2 oz Nuvo Sparkling Liqueur
2 oz Dole Tangerine Aqua Fresca
dash of Goldschlager
Shake with ice and strain in a rocks glass neat, garnish with Lime

Grab Bag #7: Fuck Brendan Shanahan, Subway needs to fuckin quit with the BBQ disasters, and a new drink I tried

- Brendan Shanahan is a former hockey player, winning championships as a member of the Detroilet Red Wings (yes, Detroilet as in Detroit + Toilet). Nowadays, he is in charge of Disiplining NHL Players for dirty plays and so forth. All season long he has been inconsistant with the suspensions and fines for these calls. Nashville defenseman Shea Weber takes a player's head to the rail of the glass and slams it, causing a minor injury but intending to hurt the player. All he gets is a cash fine. Hawks forward Andrew Shaw make incidental contact with Phoenix goalie Mike Smith while in the trapezoid behind the net. Smith dove and flopped like a 4 year old, seemed really hurt but got up and finished the game. Today, Shaw is issued a 3 game suspension. There's another two dozen instances of this babyshit where the punishments and crimes do not fit each other. I'm glad he's not a real fuckin law judge let me tell ya.

- So I got excited earlier when I heard of Subway doing a BBQ Chicken Sandwich. I know their other chicken sandwiches are good, and Barbeque sauce is epic (when done right) so this should be as good as their world-class Steak Sandwich. Man I was so fucking wrong. I should have learned my lesson from the Pork Sandwich failure they had a few months ago, Subway is not a Barbeque joint. But what they need to do is bottle up and sell that sweet onion sauce they have. That shit is fire and I would put that on damn near everything I eat.

- So I was listening to an old Young Jeezy mixtape on my laptop this weekend and I heard the track "Start It Up" and he mentions in a line "I'm on that new Thug Passion, Belvidere and Sake". While we all know that real and hologram Tupac coined Thug Passion as Alize and Cristal, I went and got a bottle of Belvi and some Cherry sake and I'll be damnned if that isn't a badass drink. Very refreshing but will get you fucked up quick.



New Thug Passion
2 oz Belvidere Vodka
2 oz Fu-Ki Cherry Sake

Pour over ice in a rocks glass, stir with straw