Impaired Moment #356

So here's a story about what happened yesterday. A tale of drinking on an empty stomach, true friendship and bad ideas.

I went out yesterday morning and had lunch with a friend. Taking it easy, I just order a chicken salad and a pop. Cut to 5 hours later where I have a nap and wake up to start drinking a Thug Passion (read previous post from a few months ago on said drink recipe) Then, I go across the street, where there is a music in the park festival going on, and I meet up with some friends. After sitting there and seeing a bunch of uncoordinated people clap to some half-assed jazz covers, we go and hit a couple of bars.

During this small bar crawl, I did manage to scarf down a pork sandwich but that holds liquor like a UPS box holds water. Eventually, I am outside at a bar really close to my house. This is where shit goes bad. 2 of my friends go home, and at this point I'm really drunk. I get a text from this girl who I used to be into and she was at a bar down the street. Me and a friend who stuck around go down there and before I could have a drink, I turn and go home. I rush to the bathroom and I coughed twice, knowing what's on deck. My pork sandwich and thug passion is in the sink. I quickly grab a red cup and transfer contents to the toilet (my friend later helped clean my bathroom, I owe him a case of beer now, such a nice guy) and after slamming a (different) cup of water, I decide to go back to the bar.

This is where shit REALLY Goes bad. My Friend has a friend of a friend who, well let's just say will never be on the cover of Vogue anytime soon. About my height (probably a couple inches taller than me actually) slightly below average body and had braces (Yes, she was old enough to drink, Your Honor) This lady was having the time of her life, and was visibly looking for some nightcap action. But, she was getting shut down (for obvious aesthetic reasons) and I felt bad for her. I had briefly chatted with her and she was a nice person just wanting to have a good time.

Now it's bar close, everyone's outside. My other buddies are waiting for a cab and Lady wants to know where the after-party is. Me, still drunk (only had 2 pints of water the 2nd time around) decides to make a selfish charity donation and commits to bringing her and her friend (they play the Ashford & Simpson scene at bars, if ya catch my drift) back to my place. We drink some more (...oh, Me? I'm drinking "vodka" on the rocks - lowball glass of water)

Eventually, sobriety grows within me and my guilt and booze influenced idea fades, and thankfully, Ashford takes Simpson home and I eventually pass out for the night.

What I hope you learn from this story is to always eat a good meal before drinking heavy. And make sure you have a good support system of friends around too.