Asking the Fans to Critique my Dating Profile

I asked a friend to do this once before and they never got around to helping me with it, so I'm leaving it  to you faithful readers to send me messages on what I should change/keep/re-arrange about my dating profile on OKCupid

Here's the link:
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/axbass

Fire away, send suggestions to courtsideseatstohell@gmail.com or leave them on the facebook page

Cute Chicks on Daytime Television

Last month, I got a TV in my bedroom, so now I'm watching a bit more television than I had been the last couple of years (Outside of sports, of course) and I thought, why not point out some of the gorgeous women I've noticed on the tube lately.

* Melissa D'arabian (Ten Dollar Dinners; Food Network)

This cute southwestern mom of 4 was one of the winner's of the Food Network's "Next Network Star" back in 2009, and now she has her own show and cookbook, featuring meals that can feed a family of 4 for just $10 bucks or less. Cute and Thrifty? That's a winning combo right there.

* Clarissa Thompson (SportsNation; ESPN2)

It takes some knowledge and talent to fill the big heels left from the amazing Michelle Beadle, but if there was one woman in sports who fit the job perfectly, it's Clarissa Thompson. She's been around for a bit, bumming along on Fox Sports Net and Big Ten Network before finally getting a shot on the big time in 2010 with ESPN. Hot, Smart, and enough sass to put that moron Colin Cowherd in his place, just like Beadle.

* Elizabeth Ries (Twin Cities Live; KSTP-5 Twin Cities) 

You live outside of Minnesota, I'm sure you've never heard of her. You live in Minnesota, You know exactly who I'm talking about (maybe). Local television around here sucks more than the Vikings and Twins do combined, but this woman is very easy on the eyes. She's been hosting this around town afternoon variety show for awhile, and hopefully, the folks at ABC notice this cutie and maybe give her a shot at the national scene. And like me, she has a cool Blog as well. She even does some double duty on the radio too.

Food Review: Stella's Fish Cafe

This past Sunday, a friend of mine texted me, wanting to go to eat somewhere with a rooftop. So myself and 2 others went to one of the best seafood spots in the Twin Cities, Stella's Fish Cafe in Uptown Minneapolis.

What makes this rooftop so special, is that it has 2 different levels. One spot that is more of a Bar & Apps kinda level and the very top of the restaurant is more of a dining area. it's a perfect spot to take a date for a sunset dinner or to reserve and have a classy dinner party (which they do offer) This spot also has a wonderful bar and 2 levels inside that have the perfect blend of fun and class that is missing from a lot of the hipster, bro-ish bars and spots in the surrounding area.

The food was nothing short of amazing. They offer tons of options throughout the seafood world, from over a half-dozen different varieties of Oysters, several types of fish, from Walleye toP Tilapia to Swordfish, and of course, Shrimp and Lobster.

I had the East Coast Swordfish, which came with a select choice of sauces and veggies. I chose to have the ponzu sauce with the side of wasabi and broccoli. The Japanese influenced flavors went perfectly with the delicate fish. My friends had the grilled Salmon and the Lobster Pasta. One drawback was the lack of decent garlic bread, something that is usually found in any seafood place. But overall, the portions were well-sized and the presentation was fantastic.

Overall, I give Stella's Fish Cafe 4.5 out of 5 Flames

Stella's Fish Cafe
1400 West Lake Street
Minneapolis
Phone: (612) 824-8862

that's a Hang Wiff'em...

Hang wiff'em = A baseball term, famously coined by Sox broadcaster Hawk Harrelson; used to describe a hard hit ball that is heading right to a fielder's glove for an out. The fact that a batter hit the ball hard enough to get a base hit, but landed in the wrong spot means it will "hang with" the player, as he thinks about it.

So here's the scenario. It's midnight at a bar in Dinkytown (U of M Campus area, for you non-minnesotans) and I'm there with a friend-girl (described in a previous post) and she talks to some dude who mentioned South America (where she was traveling abroad this summer). Eventually, we get invited to his table, which consisted of (from left to right) a gay dude, a quiet dude, a cute girl, a really quiet dude with gauges, and travel guy. During name exchange introductions, they mention that they live in St. Paul, and the cute girl says she lives in a house over east and is looking for extra roommates next month.

Key Point: she looks at quiet guy and really quiet gauge guy and says those are her current roommates.

So, at this point I'm nodding along and listening. I see her grab both of them beers along with her drink, which seems to solidify the claim of them being just roommates. As time passes, and I know I'm going to leave I casually mention that "I actually have someone moving here soon. My brother is looking to stay around st.paul" The squeeze bunt play works to perfection as she goes, "Here, take down my number". At this point I type the number in my phone, smile, and wish the table a good night.

This seems to have all the makings of a perfect 9th inning rally, so I decide to play offense and go for the winning run. So when I got home, I sent this text:

Me:
"Hey I'm gonna keep it real with you, my buddy isn't moving up here. I said that to see if I could get your number. You're cute and you said your friends were just your roommates so I'm making the bold assumption you're single? If I'm wrong then forgive me and I'll pretend this didn't happen, but if I'm right, I'd like to take you to dinner somewhere at some point"

So, I'm thinking here's the runner advancing to 3rd on the way to home. She replies:

Her:
Goodness, well thank you. I'm actually not single :( the guy sitting next to me in the black shirt and stretched ears is my boyfriend... I'm sorry :(

Out at the plate, ballgame over, drive home safely.

But one giant plus out of this is that she said later:

Her:
You seem like a good guy, don't give up on the bold moves. If I was single, I'd be impressed by your creativity.

But what kills me is how this guy was so distant and didn't look like he was even her good friend, let alone her boyfriend. I understand not being "That" couple, but for the love of pizza, at least look like your dating the damn person next to ya. Because remember, what one dude doesn't appreciate, another dude certainly will.

Anyways, I thanked her and wished her a good night. Not bad for an on-the-fly play. But "That's a hang wiff'em right there."

UPDATE: Changes made to the Football Days Schedule

http://axsmith.blogspot.com/2012/07/courtside-seats-to-hell-presents.html

Some new updates and changes to the Football Days events, Including a new Tailgate party in Chicago for the Northwestern - Boston College game on September 15th.

Grab Bag #12: Jaz is Alive, Alex dances and dries out, and would you like some tortilla chips?

*Wonderful news about Killing Joke singer Jaz Coleman. He was reported missing by his bandmates a couple weeks ago, but we learned today that he is safe and well and was in the Western Sahara working on a new symphony.

*After 2 incidents of blacking out, vomiting, and not remembering what happened, I have decided to dry out for the next week or so. I'm getting a bit tired of having my right side hurting every morning when I wake up and I'm trying to drink away some of the shit I've been dealing with lately, which isn't a good idea. While I know, very few people don't enjoy and/or have never encountered me sober, I assure you all, I will do my best not to injure or obliterate anyone, even if you say something stupid around me. Maybe.

* Another reason to put the bottle down for a bit: This 30-second gem filmed this past weekend

* I have an awesome recipe for Homemade Tortilla Chips:

Ingredients

Peanut oil, for frying

8 fresh flour tortillas

House Seasoning, recipe follows

Directions

Heat 1-inch of peanut oil in a large frying pan over medium-high heat to 350 degrees.

Arrange the tortillas in a stack and cut into 6 equal wedges like a pizza. Fry a few chips at a time, turning occasionally with a slotted spoon, until crisp and lightly browned, ABOUT 10-20 SECONDS! (any longer and they will burn!) Drain chips on a paper towel-lined plate; sprinkle lightly with House Seasoning and store in an airtight container.

House Seasoning:

1 cup salt

1/4 cup black pepper

1/2 teaspoon chili powder

Mix ingredients together and store in an airtight container for up to 6 months.

They should come out looking epic, like above.

Is Alex B. Smith gonna buy a dog?

So the other night, I walked out of my apartment to smoke a cigar and I saw 4 attractive women in the park, all walking dogs. Then I walk across the street, I see 2 other good looking chicks huddled by a patio chair, petting some furry poodle or maybe it was one of those shitzu deals, I dunno.

My point is, for some reason, it seems like nearly every woman loves dogs. Especially out here in Minnesota. They are solid conversation starters and girls like to think that a guy with a pet is more caring and kind than someone without.

Here's my problem: I genuinely do not like dogs. Not one bit.

This photo was taken last week at a friend's house.

I posed for my friend (who loves animals to the point where once she swerved out of the way for a duck on the street... But, I digress)

This little puppy thing jumped on me, and while I don't like pets, I'll never be mean to one. I would have loved to move the thing off of me but I wasn't going to go chuck the damn thing in another yard Brett Farve style. It's one thing to not want them shitting and running in your house, it's another to be mean to them.

But, it makes me think more and more that my distate for pets is being translated into a small sign of inablity to commit to something caring and loving (Like a relationship)

While this is Not the case, I am trying my best to be more accepting to pets. I don't mind cats at all. They keep to themselves, keep moderately clean, and they shit in a box, not in the middle of the floor or yard or wherever the hell they want. I used to have a fish tank when I was a kid, but those things die so fast and cleaning the tank can be a hassle every now and then.

In closing, I would just like to let everyone know that I care about people way more than animals. And I'd much rather buy a girl dinner and a fur coat then have to buy dinner for the fur coat messing  up my nice couch.