Farewell...

A part of history took place on Thursday night in the Bronx as a Baseball Legend ended his reign at the only ballpark he's ever called Home on a game-winning base hit. Derek Jeter has been one of the game's most iconic players, and there was no other way his last game in Yankee Stadium could end without him making another magical hit, like he's done countless times in his 20-year career while donning pinstripes. On Saturday night, another legend of the game will say farewell to his longtime ballclub. Chicago White Sox slugger Paul Konerko will be honored throughout the evening on the South Side as he plays his last game of his storied career.

Now, as big of a Sox fan as I am, I know that Jeter's farewell is much larger than Paulie's. However, these are two great ballplayers who deserve all of the accolades and praise that will come from these farewell engagements. Many people can tell you where they were when they saw many of Derek Jeter's classic moments. His Homer in the 2001 World Series at the stroke of Midnight, crowning him as "Mr. November", or his epic leap into the stands against his rival Boston in 2007, or his record-breaking hit to make him the Yankees' all-time hit leader (which took place against my Pale Hose a few years ago). However, only a few can tell you about Paulie's great moments. The countless outs he recorded playing at First Base, which didn't end up on SportsCenter reels night after night. Or his majestic bombs out to the left field Bullpen, usually part of piecing together a comeback rally in a Mid-Summer evening affair as opposed to an October night. Oh, but Konerko saved his biggest moment for the Fall, as his iconic Grand Slam in Game 2 of the 2005 World Series will forever be lamented in White Sox lore as the seat in which the ball landed is still the same small blue seat it was during that Championship year.

The numbers are incredible for both competitors, but the reason why we are talking about these moments over and over. The reason why Jeter received gifts in Baltimore and Texas and why Konerko received gifts in Cleveland and Detroit, aren't just because of how well they played against those cities' ballclubs. It's because in the time and era in which they played, through the era clouded by Steroids, Contract disputes, Mega-Trades and a general decline in times for the game of Baseball, these two gentlemen played the right way, gave their all every single play in the field, every single at-bat, and every single second they put on their uniform. And in a time where Sports has been given a bad name by countless individuals who take for granted the opportunities they have, Sir Derek Jeter and Sir Paulie Konerko respected the game and did so with the utmost amount of love and humility.

No player will ever wear #2 in the Bronx again, and I'm fairly certain no player will ever don #14 on the South Side after Sunday's season comes to a close. And it's all with good reason. These two Legends gave us all so many great memories, those numbers will forever be synonymous with their club, their era, and the great game of Baseball.

I think, Derek's nephew Jalen says it best for all of us fans.

Farewell.

I Lost My (Food Truck) Virginity Today

So today is basically the first day of Summer. Or at least the first day it feels like Summer. After a horrendous Minnesota Winter, it's nice to be out in shorts and a t-shirt, and wear a pair of creeper shades to check out the skirts and dresses walking around town as well. To celebrate this nice Friday before Memorial Day, I clocked myself out of work early, took a nice shower and walked across the street to the park, where a small row of food trucks are always parked during the lunch hours. While these moving eateries have been all the craze for a couple of years now, I've never ordered a meal from one before. (My lunches usually consist of Subway eaten in the office, or Sushi & a couple martini's down the street)

I approach this baby-blue truck called Neato's Burgers, very reminiscent of the ice cream trucks that I rarely ever got to patronize as a youth ("You don't know what the hell is in those trucks!" My germaphobe Mom exclaimed), and I'm greeted with a moderate line of business people and hipster dog-walkers.. The menu is small, simple and to the point. Burgers, made with ground chuck and the usual array of toppings. French Fries, which are fried in Duck Fat and seasoned with Sea Salt, and Milkshakes, which came in either Strawberry or Chocolate Stout. I finally make my turn to order. I get a burger with ketchup and pickles, with a side of fries and a can of Root Beer (an order that immediately took me back to the mid-90's, when I would request the same selections whenever my folks grab burgers, which was often.). The wait wasn't long at all, considering the nice-sized crowd in front, which nearly doubled in the 4 minutes I waited for my meal. Once my food appeared, I scooted back over to my apartment and sat in my courtyard, ready to chow down. The burger was very tasty, juicy and well seasoned. But the star of the show is certainly the Duck Fat Fries. A lot of controversy is stirred up when you talk about the culinary usage of Duck (Foie Gras, anyone?) But this is a very solid match. The greasiness of duck lines up well with the hand-cut fries, almost giving it a bacon-like flavor (which Always works!) While it's not something an Olympic Runner would have in their standard diet, it's certainly a nice treat to nibble on here and there, and I will certainly make it back over to the Neato's truck again this summer.

Boycotting Wild Tymes

I can't even wait until morning to write this up right now. I just got home from seeing some of my best friends in tears of anger and disgust over today's news. 2 friends were Wrongfully Fired from Wild Tymes Bar in Saint Paul, Minnesota over an accusation of stolen money from a couple of weeks ago. What makes this a ridiculous termination is the fact that the two accused Made a ton of money that night, and because their head manager decide to mix up money from an outdoor sales point with the bucket that was tip money from that busy night because she wanted to drink and socialise like the rest of us on St. Pat's Day. And for the record, I can personally vouch for both of them as people of great character and integrity to the point where I would trust them with my bank and betting accounts, and I mean that with all the breath in my body. Another factor as to why this firing is both unjust and asinine is because they have been led by a faulty and incompetent Head Manager who can't even figure out how the bottles behind her bar are layed out. As one of their top patrons within the last several years (And I have the fucking credit card and bank statements to back that up) One should never hear dozens and dozens of complaints from staff about how things aren't being taken care of or how you aren't able to do simple tasks around your place of work, let alone lead a hard working staff of dedicated people to make money. I have brought in countless patrons and spread the word about this bar for the 5 years I have lived in St. Paul, and mark my words to death, on the grave of my resting and living family,I Will Never Appear At Wild Tymes Bar & Grill, I Will Never Promote Wild Tymes Bar & Grill
I ADVISE EVERY SINGLE PERSON, EITHER LIVING IN MINNESOTA OR TRAVELING INTO MINNESOTA TO NEVER, EVER, EVER DRINK OR EAT AT WILD TYMES BAR & GRILL!!!

 and as far as Musicians on your poorly run shit fucking stage and never paying artists
 I ADVISE EVERY SINGLE MUSICIAN IN THE COUNTRY TO NEVER, EVER, EVER PERFORM AT WILD TYMES UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!
My Former Band brought 300 people into the patio and booths of that establishment, and all that "I, Corvinus" ever got for that show was under 50 bucks and an overcooked pizza. The last project I performed with was "Banned" from playing there because Sandy felt "Threatened" by local street artist Tony Criss. The reason for this sentiment was because she was upset that he was cleared by neighboring bar Great Waters (A fine establishment located at 426 Saint Peter St, Fine craft beers if you like that sort of thing, I suggest you check them out next time you're Downtown or going to a Minnesota Wild game) had given him the OK to play at their patio. She responded by calling in a complaint to the police.

I would like to say in conclusion, that I am grateful for the amazing bartenders and servers I have met while drinking there and that I hope to see all of you guys and gals on a regular basis at different places of work and bars to socialize. And to you, Miss Manager (You know who the Fuck you are) and the ownership/management responsible for this unjust termination of the two best workers you had on staff, I hope that the future vacancies tagged along will run you right into the fucking toilet. And have fun training new staff in the middle of a  potential Minnesota Wild playoff run. Your incompetence will rub off and your establishment will crumble faster than the snowpile outside of 7th Place in the Spring.

HERE IS A LIST OF ACCEPTABLE BARS THAT PEOPLE SHOULD PATRONIZE IN DOWNTOWN SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA:


Amsterdam Bar & Hall (WONDERFUL PLACE TO HEAR & PERFORM MUSIC)
6 West 6th Street
612-285-3112
www.amsterdambarandhall.com

Alary's Bar (GREAT DRINK SPECIALS & SHUTTLE FOR WILD GAMES)
139 7th Street East
651-224-7717
www.alarys.com

Bullpen Sports Saloon (AWESOME DRINK SPECIALS & VERY NICE STAGE)
395 North Robert St
651-340-0583
www.bullpensportssaloon.com

Bulldog Lowertown (EXCELLENT TAP SELECTION AND GREAT FOOD)
237 East 6th Street
651-221-0750
www.thebulldoglowertown.com

Great Waters Brewery (FINE CRAFT BREWERY AND SOLID FOOD)
426 Saint Peter Street
651-224-2739
www.greatwatersbc.com

Bands to Watch: Forever Waiting

So, this is a new segment I'm gonna throw in here and there, Bands to Watch


The band to watch in July and August is a 5-Piece Hard Rock band from Glenwood City, Wisconsin called Forever Waiting


Fans of Red and Breaking Benjamin should really enjoy this group, they are busy playing some big shows in the Twin Cities area, Currently in the Rawkzilla Battle of the Bands and also opening for Trapt at Station 4 on August 12. For more info on FW, check them out on Facebook.


Check out their debut single, 
"Lost in Silence" HERE
Like Forever Waiting on Facebook HERE

Grab Bag #8: Hippies Suck, Cabs aren't much better, Perfect Hot Dog and Have a Safe Holiday!

* So last weekend back in Chicago, the NATO and G8 Summits went down and shit was crazy all over the city. Fucking Hippie Protesters kept popping up all over the place and riot cops did their best to not just outright kill them (where's Old Man Daley when ya need him, eh?) Watching this shit on the news made me really glad I didn't try to go home then.

* I'm getting really sick of the unprofessionalism of the Cab companies in Saint Paul. They wanna always bitch about getting fucked by the city council and how people don't tip and are rude to them. Maybe it's because the majority of them are providing a service at a shitty level. Punctuality is just lost on some of these drivers. Maybe it's part of that soft Minnesota passive bullshit but if I call a goddamn cab, it's because I have somewhere to go at a certain time. Lollygag on your own damn time off work.

* I wanna hear some feedback on my Sexual Rant, "Head is Overrated". E-mail me at courtsideseatstohell@gmail.com and voice your thoughts and opinions on the subject

* Over the last year, I have been working on taking a bunch of my recipes and making a cookbook. Since Grilling season is in full swing, I will post up some recipes in the near future.... Like now:

The Perfect Hot Dogs
- 1 pack Kosher All-Beef Hot Dogs (none of the pork/horse combo bullshit, real beef)
- 1 white onion
- 1 yellow and red pepper
- 2 cheap cans of beer (I prefer MGD or Carling Black Label)
- 1 tablespoon black pepper
- 1 teaspoon celery salt
Optional: Ketchup*, bright green relish

Get a stock pot, pour in 1 1/2 cans of beer, add the peppers and onions, along with the pepper and celery salt, boil on medium-low for 5-7 minutes. Start up grill and finish off 1/2 can of beer while boiling, if desired, warm the hot dog buns on the grill upon starting for 30 seconds a bun. Turn off pot, and place dogs and veggies on the grill. Cook until charred. Remove peppers and onion and chop in bite-sized piece. Top dog with peppers, onions, ketchup* and relish. Add extra celery salt and pepper if desired.

*Note: Yes, I am from Chicago and I put ketchup on my hot dogs. I hate mustard. We can fight about this if you like.

Happy Memorial Day! God Bless our Servicemen & women! And drink, don't drive. Call a cab (if they'll actually pick ya up, the lazy fucks)

3 Drinks You Should Try This Summer

So, summer is basically upon us. This is the time of the year where I lighten up my liquor color,
but increase my intake. So here are 3 drinks you will catch me sippin' on from Now till Labor Day.

Twisted Sister
3 oz Seagram's Gin
2 oz 7-UP
Juice of a Lemon & a Lime
Fill rocks glass with ice, squeeze Lemon and Lime over the ice, then add Gin and 7-UP

New Thug Passion
3 oz Belvidere
2 oz Fu-Ki Cherry Sake
Shake with ice and strain in a rocks glass neat


The Chateau Cooler
3 oz Absolut Grapevine (Passion fruit & Guava Flavored Vodka)
2 oz Nuvo Sparkling Liqueur
2 oz Dole Tangerine Aqua Fresca
dash of Goldschlager
Shake with ice and strain in a rocks glass neat, garnish with Lime