Boycotting Wild Tymes

I can't even wait until morning to write this up right now. I just got home from seeing some of my best friends in tears of anger and disgust over today's news. 2 friends were Wrongfully Fired from Wild Tymes Bar in Saint Paul, Minnesota over an accusation of stolen money from a couple of weeks ago. What makes this a ridiculous termination is the fact that the two accused Made a ton of money that night, and because their head manager decide to mix up money from an outdoor sales point with the bucket that was tip money from that busy night because she wanted to drink and socialise like the rest of us on St. Pat's Day. And for the record, I can personally vouch for both of them as people of great character and integrity to the point where I would trust them with my bank and betting accounts, and I mean that with all the breath in my body. Another factor as to why this firing is both unjust and asinine is because they have been led by a faulty and incompetent Head Manager who can't even figure out how the bottles behind her bar are layed out. As one of their top patrons within the last several years (And I have the fucking credit card and bank statements to back that up) One should never hear dozens and dozens of complaints from staff about how things aren't being taken care of or how you aren't able to do simple tasks around your place of work, let alone lead a hard working staff of dedicated people to make money. I have brought in countless patrons and spread the word about this bar for the 5 years I have lived in St. Paul, and mark my words to death, on the grave of my resting and living family,I Will Never Appear At Wild Tymes Bar & Grill, I Will Never Promote Wild Tymes Bar & Grill
I ADVISE EVERY SINGLE PERSON, EITHER LIVING IN MINNESOTA OR TRAVELING INTO MINNESOTA TO NEVER, EVER, EVER DRINK OR EAT AT WILD TYMES BAR & GRILL!!!

 and as far as Musicians on your poorly run shit fucking stage and never paying artists
 I ADVISE EVERY SINGLE MUSICIAN IN THE COUNTRY TO NEVER, EVER, EVER PERFORM AT WILD TYMES UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!
My Former Band brought 300 people into the patio and booths of that establishment, and all that "I, Corvinus" ever got for that show was under 50 bucks and an overcooked pizza. The last project I performed with was "Banned" from playing there because Sandy felt "Threatened" by local street artist Tony Criss. The reason for this sentiment was because she was upset that he was cleared by neighboring bar Great Waters (A fine establishment located at 426 Saint Peter St, Fine craft beers if you like that sort of thing, I suggest you check them out next time you're Downtown or going to a Minnesota Wild game) had given him the OK to play at their patio. She responded by calling in a complaint to the police.

I would like to say in conclusion, that I am grateful for the amazing bartenders and servers I have met while drinking there and that I hope to see all of you guys and gals on a regular basis at different places of work and bars to socialize. And to you, Miss Manager (You know who the Fuck you are) and the ownership/management responsible for this unjust termination of the two best workers you had on staff, I hope that the future vacancies tagged along will run you right into the fucking toilet. And have fun training new staff in the middle of a  potential Minnesota Wild playoff run. Your incompetence will rub off and your establishment will crumble faster than the snowpile outside of 7th Place in the Spring.

HERE IS A LIST OF ACCEPTABLE BARS THAT PEOPLE SHOULD PATRONIZE IN DOWNTOWN SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA:


Amsterdam Bar & Hall (WONDERFUL PLACE TO HEAR & PERFORM MUSIC)
6 West 6th Street
612-285-3112
www.amsterdambarandhall.com

Alary's Bar (GREAT DRINK SPECIALS & SHUTTLE FOR WILD GAMES)
139 7th Street East
651-224-7717
www.alarys.com

Bullpen Sports Saloon (AWESOME DRINK SPECIALS & VERY NICE STAGE)
395 North Robert St
651-340-0583
www.bullpensportssaloon.com

Bulldog Lowertown (EXCELLENT TAP SELECTION AND GREAT FOOD)
237 East 6th Street
651-221-0750
www.thebulldoglowertown.com

Great Waters Brewery (FINE CRAFT BREWERY AND SOLID FOOD)
426 Saint Peter Street
651-224-2739
www.greatwatersbc.com

Accountablity

“If you hang out with chickens, you're going to cluck 

and if you hang out with eagles, you're going to fly.”

― Steve Maraboli

This previous weekend was St. Patrick's Day. My favorite holiday of the year, a time to celebrate intense hours of drinking, partying and camaraderie. This year's celebration meant a lot to me considering how I was in poor health and unknowingly near death around this point last year. The fact that I was able to drink for about 32 of the 48 hours between Saturday and Sunday is both miraculous and a testament to what one's body can do and how your mind can will it to happen.

But upon recapping and patching the weekend's events, it trickled down into what I have previously stated on here and as well as how I have changed socially in the last several months. There are a lot of people, either directly connected or via friends of friends or acquaintances, that drink and cannot be held accountable for themselves when hitting a drunken level. Now I understand full well that drinking tolerance with in a person is like a snowflake, never two alike. But the disparity of events branches all genders, races, religions, shapes and sizes. People need to take time in their lives to figure out how they can handle things. If you like to drink, you should know your limits with alcohol before you go out and drink. Maybe it's making sure you eat beforehand. Maybe it's you can't drink Jagermeister like it's water after 5 hours. Whatever the circumstance, set the rules with your mind and body and follow accordingly, breaking them for nothing and nobody at any time.

Saturday night, I met a chick who had been drinking, but was clearly coherent, said she was alone and wanted to have fun. I danced with this lady and we had a shot before she started to harass a friend of mine and then proceeded to straddle some random guy a few minutes later. A combination of pissed, stunned and general disgust came about me and I was ready to leave. I find out later that this chick wasn't alone and was actually with her boyfriend who was working his ass off bartending for the night and was good friends with said harassed friend. Now this slut more than likely went home with her boyfriend and chalked all of what went down up to "Oh, I just had too many drinks." No Fucking Accountability for the fact that A: She apparently reached a point to where she could no longer hold her liquor intake, and B: Was clearly trying to have fun with someone other than her boyfriend While He's In the Goddamn Bar. When I danced with her, it turned from casual 2-step to her bent down in front of me pretty fast. But I'm sure that all is well in her head for now and that this same event will occur at another bar with another set of people.

I have never seen people eat so much food that they cannot digest anymore of it and then they projectile vomit and shit their pants around the entire room, but dozens upon dozens of times will people go and blame the dumb, mindless, reckless, stupid shit they say and fucking do over a bottle.

Grow. The. Fuck. Up.

I have reached a point of disgust to where there are some calls I won't answer when going out because I refuse, as a grown ass adult who got over drinking in excess because it "seemed cool", and can not handle my alcohol and realise my tolerance, I Refuse to drink with people who bring nothing but drama and bullshit and just lose there motherfucking minds when they drink. And I'm not talking about getting Drunk. That happens to us all and people can still be casual while drunk. I'm not talking about getting sick because that can happen as well and be from a number of reasons. But when you have a track record of fights, blackouts, broken shit, arguments, injuries, "I dunno what the fuck happened, Dude where's my car" kind of shit, it's time for a re-evaluation of life and asking the question of is alcohol right for you. And while you're off figuring that out, I'll be at the bar having a great, drama-free time drinking.

Recipes for St. Patrick's Weekend

Tomorrow and Sunday will be one of my favorite 48 Hour gaps of the Year, as we kick off Saint Patrick's Day Weekend. Here in Saint Paul, our parade is going down on Saturday, despite the Sunday date for the actual holiday. I am hosting an annual pre-parade party at my place and these are the items I am serving:

Cutter Burgers:

This is a recipe that came about from several different burger cooking methods. I love burger joints like  SmashBurger and Steak & Shake, and could never really figure out their "Smash" Techniques exactly. I also loved White Castle growing up and the concept of the "Slider" burgers. So combining the two ideas, I came up with the "Cutter" burgers (a double entendre/play on words, if you will, because in Baseball, the opposite pitch of a Slider is a Cutter, and because a cookie cutter is used as well.)

Utensils:

Large Cookie Sheet (13 x 18 is what I have)

Rolling Pin (Wooden is fine, Granite if you're a bad-ass)

Skillet Pan (Griddle is okay, Grill pan not so much for this one)

Wax Paper

Spatula WITHOUT SLOTS! (Metal is best, but Vinyl will do)

Cookie Cutter (OR A Double Shot Glass)

(Side Story: Baking isn't my deal. So when I read about using a cookie cutter, I thought "Oh, I can go to a store and buy one of those." I went to several stores (Wal-Mart, Target, Rainbow Grocery, Walgreens) and NONE of them had a fuckin cookie cutter. Wal-Mart had a box of 101 Cookie Cutters, with "Fun Shapes". Needless to say I didn't buy 101 cookie cutters. So if you aren't fortunate enough to make real cookies in kid-friendly shapes, use a double shot glass. I assume that you own a set since you read this blog.)

Ingredients

1 Large Package Ground Beef (80/20 works fine)

1/2 Stick of Unsalted Butter

1/2 Cup Burger Seasoning (I use Black Pepper, Cayenne Pepper, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, Cumin, Oregano, and a dash of Sea Salt. Mixed into a shaker. You can buy Weber Grill seasoning too and it will be equally bad-ass)

1: Place a piece of Wax Paper onto Cookie Sheet and season all over with Burger seasoning.

2. Place 1/2 package of Ground Beef onto sheet, Top with another piece of wax paper.

3. Take rolling pin and flatten Beef out until streched and covering majority of the sheet

4. Remove top piece of paper and season top side of Beef with burger seasoning.

5. Re-Cover beef and Place in refrigerator for 10 minutes

6. Heat Skillet pan over medium-high heat for 3-4 minutes and melt 1/4 piece of butter (the pan needs to be really fucking hot)

7. Once skillet is hot, remove Beef from fridge, Discard top layer of wax paper.

8. Take Cookie Cutter/Double Shot glass and press out circles. Lift with spatula and place in skillet

9. After 90 Seconds, Flip Burger and PRESS HARD down into the skillet. Be careful of splashback from the butter and meat juices. Press for about 20-30 Seconds then leave on for another 90 Seconds, before Flipping and Pressing again. It should take between 2 to 3 minutes to cook well done

10. After batch is done, Repeat steps 1-5 with Second 1/2 of Beef.

11. Serve with toppings and Enjoy. 

St. Patrick's Punch

I just tried this out today, People love when I make my Super Punch for Super Bowl, so I decided to come up with a Punch for St. Pat's:

3 Bottles of 100-Proof Vodka (1 Liter)

2 Bottles of UV Blue Vodka (1 Liter)

2 Bottles of Minute Maid Lemonade (2 Liters)

2 Bottles of Sprite (2-Liters)

1 Bottle of Malibu Melon Liquor (750 ML)

1 Large Can/6 Small Cans of Pineapple Juice

Green Food Coloring

Combine in a Cooler IN THIS EXACT ORDER!!!

1. 100 Proof Vodka
2. Malibu Melon
3. Sprite 
4. Lemonade & UV Blue AT THE SAME TIME
5. Dash of Food Coloring
6. 100 Proof Vodka #2
7. Pineapple Juice
8. Sprire #2 (Half-Bottle)
9. UV Blue #2
10. Lemonade #2
11. 100 Proof Vodka #3
12. Rest of Sprite #2
13. Another Dash of Food Coloring (if desired)

When Finished, It should be as Green as the Chicago River!

Top 10 Best MMA Knockouts of All-Time

So, one of my favorite things to watch every now and then on YouTube is Knockout Clips. Be it Boxing, MMA or even Street Fights, there is nothing cooler than seeing the transfer of violent energy between two human beings. Here's my shortlist of Top 10 KO's in Mixed Martial Arts:

10: Rashad Evans KO's Chuck Liddell

Awesome Standup Knockout that would rival some great Boxing KO's from the last decade.

9: Rampage Jackson KO's Ricardo Arona

Betcha didn't think a fake Wrestling move would lead to a real-ass Knockout, eh?

8. Badr Hari KO's Stefan Leko

This is one tasty Muay Thai jawbreaker of a knockout

7: Anthony Njokuani KO's Chris Horodecki

Life Lesson: You can't run away from your battles. They will find you.

6: Wanderlei Silva KO's Yuki Kondo

I just told you what happens when you run. You get stomped the fuck out. 

5. Anthony Pettis KO's Ben Henderson

If you study enough in martial arts, you can do some ninja shit like this.

4. Tank Abbott KO's John Matua

Back when the UFC was the Super Bowl of Bar fights, we had epic gems like this "Fold-up" at :54

3. Brawler KO's Capoeira

This is the Real clip that actually became a movie scene years later. Flash means nothing.

2: Uriah Hall KO's Adam Cella

Like a late electric bill, dude gets his lights cut off.

1. Gary Goodridge KO's Paul Herrera

Don't blink for this one. it goes quick, fast and in a hurry.

Which Do You Think Should Be #1? E-mail me at courtsideseatstohell@gmail.com or comment below!

Grab Bag #20: Catching Up on TV, March Madness, St. Pat's Day

Been awhile since I've posted. Missed the One-Year Anniversary of CSTH. Thanks to the Thousands of you who have shared in my posts over the last dozen months. I will do my best to check in more and write stuff.

* TV Recap: The 2 shows I'm currently watching now are just getting really fucking crazy. The Carrie Diaries and Girls. BIG FUCKING SPOILER ALERT - DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THEM YET... I Warned You:

On TCD, Everything just hit the fucking fan, Carrie breaks up with George, Sebastian breaks up with Donna because he likes Carrie and has Mouse help him try to find her (which only leads to failure and a towed car) then Donna goes after Walt because she knows Maggie's secret fling with the cop, which Walt finds out about and then leads to him and Donna dating. But the biggest part of the recent episode is Carrie finally gets busted by her dad about her Manhattan life and now has lost both of her internships. It's just still weird to see Carrie being this controlled person because she's just 16. It fills in gaps of how she became the later version we all know and love (we even see her first Cosmo order) but there are still some holes in the story. It was nice to Not See her bitch-brat sister Dorrit in this episode, hopefully they keep that trend going.

As for Girls, we finally learn that Hannah is legitimately crazy, not just crazy. Her OCD has "Come Back" apparently, but really it's more of a nervous breakdown considering all of the shit that she has going on. Meanwhile, Charlie pulls the badass move that myself and anyone who's ever been shot down or dumped would love to pull, He sold an app to a company and now has a business that has turned him into a rich big shot, making Marnie feel like the stupid bitch she is for playing him on the fence. We later find out that she has a hidden talent, she has a really good voice, which we wouldn't have known if it wasn't for Ray getting fed up of listening to her shit and asking her what her dream in life was. He was at home waiting for Shosh to get back from her party at Rodica's (some chick who rollerblades) but their argument and Rodica's lack of interest led to Shosh (who was looking pretty hot, except for her permanent bad hair day deal) making out with a doorman.

* One of my favorite events is on the way. March Madness in College Basketball is starting up this week. From the small conference tournaments to the larger programs, to the Big Dance and even the NIT, this is a fun time to watch sports and bet on them as well. Even the person who can't tell you where Idaho State is located (Pocatello, Idaho) or the nickname of Coastal Carolina (Chanticleers) has a chance at winning the Office Pool at your job or school. So do some research or call a friend who knows this stuff *Cough, Cough* and toss 20 bucks in and indulge in the Madness.

* Another magical event, my favorite holiday, is also around the corner. Saint Patrick's Day is in 2 weeks. And this year will be better than last year for a couple of reasons. For starters, I am not on the verge of death like last year (I had an infected gallbladder around March 17th still) and the Parade here in St. Paul will be on a Saturday for a 2nd straight year (some stupid shit about parades can't be on Sundays. That's the best fucking day for a parade, Plus Grand Old Days is on a Sunday, but I digress) So there will be about 48 hours worth of drinking, so it should be a wonderful weekend.