Sick of the "Scene": a Bar Rant

I really don't think I can do this anymore. I'm 2 weeks away from turning 23, and I have damn near had it with the bar scene. I went to a popular bar in St. Paul the other week, and I got to witness a clinic in what people are doing wrong in this "Scene"

Men and women of my generation need to get their shit together. These girls wonder why the fucking general history major at the local college with the flip-flops, backwards cap and hoody bought you a drink and then called you a bitch when you didn't kiss him after he grabbed your ass? Well here's how that might have been avoided:

1. Ladies, If a guy is buying you a drink, there is a 85-90% chance he has thought about wanting to sleep with you.

This isn't a secret, it's fucking fact. Has been and always will be forever. A guy buying a drink is the icebreaker. For a woman to think otherwise is pretty fuckin stupid. There are exceptions to every rule but you can figure those out just as easily. Just pay some goddamn attention.

2. Dude, Have some Fucking Class!

You look like a douchebag wearing a backwards ballcap with a polo and flip-flops should be left to girls at the beach. You shouldn't be taken seriously looking like you watched porn at home all day. And stop being so fucking pushy. After a while, a girl can figure out what it is you are looking for, and if she can't, then spell it out politely or go seek elsewhere.

3. Girls, don't pull this double switch shit.

You are an attractive looking woman wearing a super tight shirt or dress or jeans with sequins on the ass and high heels. You are going to get stared down all fucking night by men, young and old, taken or single. DO NOT get a fucking attitude when this happens because you know this will happen and that's why you bought the damn outfit in the first fuckin place.

4. Everyone Needs To Be Fucking Honest With Each Other.

The biggest rule everyone needs to follow. Guys, if you're at the bar looking to pull some ass for the night, don't hit on the girl with her arms folded in the corner. Ladies, don't be a bitch and take 4 shots with a guy and then walk away from him because "he's being creepy". Go to the bar and do whatever it is you set out to do, but keep in mind that everyone is there for different reasons. It doesn't make one side better than the other, people just need to communicate better.