Yesterday was the 47th installment of the Super Bowl, the NFL Championship Game. The Baltimore Ravens are now World Champions after beating the San Fran 49ers on a missed holding call (with the good officials too, not the Foot Locker staff) The game was very entertaining, and so were the Commercials. Here are some of my favorites from yesterday:
1. GoDaddy.com Commercial featuring Danica Patrick, Bar Refaeli and one lucky ass nerd.
Why, oh why couldn't I have been casted for this ad? I have some TV experience. They did 45 takes in this shot. No word on how many times he had to change pants.
2. Geico Commercial featuring Dikembe Mutumbo
Former NBA player Dikembe Mutumbo is everywhere doing what he does best. Very funny for those who remember the 90's star, but still a close 2nd to the Eddie Money bit which debuted at SB 46
3. Audi Commercial featuring the New 2013 Audi S6
Between Walter from the GoDaddy bit, the Ravens (who were +4.5) and this kid, it was a night for the underdogs.
4. Doritos Commercial featuring a Goat
Guy buys a dorito-loving goat. Hilarity ensues.
5. Oreo Commercial - Cookie vs Cream
What happens when a dispute takes place in a library?
6. Mercedes-Benz Commercial featuring Kate Upton Washing a Car in Slow Motion
OK, so it's not #1 because, well it's basically false advertising. But it's on the list because it's still Kate Upton in Slow-Motion. I'll take that anyday.
HONORABLE MENTION: This should have aired last night and it would have been #2 for sure.
February 4, 2013
February 3, 2013
What is Alex Betting On This Super Bowl?
Super Bowl is just 24 hours away, and while this penultimate game of the Football season is about fun and parties, there is still some good money to be made just like the rest of the season. Everyone always asks me on any given day, How much do you have riding on this game? I rarely give out an exact number to people with the exception of Super Bowl Sunday. Here's what I'm betting and how much I stand to win if the bet hits. So you can now cheer/cringe/tail along with my bets:
NOTE: the Pay out number Includes the return of money risked + money won
$330 on Niners -4 vs Ravens (pays out $630)
$110 on Niners-Ravens OVER 47 (pays out $210)
$100 on Niners (alternate spread -7.5 +155) (pays out $255)
$50 on Alicia Keys National Anthem (Under 2:10 -160) (Pays out $81.25)
$50 on Coin Toss (HEADS -105) (pays out +$102.50)
$50 on Total Points Scored Even/Odd (EVEN +110) (Pays out $105)
$50 on Total Points Scored Combined (51-55 Pts - 6/1) (Pays out $300)
$35 on First 1st Down Play (Rushing Play +145) (pays out $85.75)
$30 on Colin Kaepernick to score a Rushing TD (YES +115) (Pays out $64.50)
$30 on Distance of First Field Goal Made (23-29 Yds - 3/1) (Pays out $90)
$25 on Niners to win by 7 to 12 points - 4/1 (pays out $125)
$25 on Joe Flacco TDs (2 TDs +225) (Pays out $81.25)
$25 on Frank Gore to score TD in 1st Half (YES +125) (Pays out $56.25)
$20 on Score within first 5 mins of 1st Quarter (YES +170) (Pays out $54)
February 1, 2013
an Apology...
I owe someone an apology. Someone fictional, but a real apology. While the real actress/creator of "Girls" Lena Dunham doesn't know (or care) I have yelled at her character, Hannah about a dozen times, more than I have at any recent hoops game in which I've had money on the line. I gave her So much shit, soooo much shit for taking the garbage abuse that she subjects herself to from her pseudo/fuckbuddy/love interest Adam. And then it hit me today, that I've been in the middle of the same shit, in her shoes, and not in a real distant past either.
It's hard to really love someone, even when they care and they realise it and are reciprocating that love back to you. But when you love someone, I mean really take your whole heart out of your chest and off your sleeve, and they don't feel the same way, or take advantage of your truth and vulnerability and just outright really don't give a flying SuperFuck about how you feel and care for them, well there's truly a different pain and a different healing for a situation like that.
And then you start to question yourself and ger really mad at the mirror because you realise Everything that is being done in front of you, but yet you can pull yourself away from it. But when it's a friend in the same spot, we "Minimize" it down and tell them they need to pull their heads from out of their asses or their girlfriend or boyfriend's asses and stop subjecting themselves to the misery, when probably at the same time, our heads are as far or even further up our own assholes.
So, I'm sorry, Hannah. I know your pain and really wish you would just pull your head out from the hole, but really, who am I to comment.
It's hard to really love someone, even when they care and they realise it and are reciprocating that love back to you. But when you love someone, I mean really take your whole heart out of your chest and off your sleeve, and they don't feel the same way, or take advantage of your truth and vulnerability and just outright really don't give a flying SuperFuck about how you feel and care for them, well there's truly a different pain and a different healing for a situation like that.
And then you start to question yourself and ger really mad at the mirror because you realise Everything that is being done in front of you, but yet you can pull yourself away from it. But when it's a friend in the same spot, we "Minimize" it down and tell them they need to pull their heads from out of their asses or their girlfriend or boyfriend's asses and stop subjecting themselves to the misery, when probably at the same time, our heads are as far or even further up our own assholes.
So, I'm sorry, Hannah. I know your pain and really wish you would just pull your head out from the hole, but really, who am I to comment.
January 31, 2013
My First Real Rant of 2013.
OK, so It's the last day of the first month of 2013. I don't have any real serious issues about life at the moment like usual. I have had some pretty good days so far this year to lead off, but I do have some small complaints on general human life that I'd like to get off of my chest.
* Tonight, I just left Mickey's Diner. The World Famous "Mighty Ducks Restaurant where Charlie's Mom Worked" in Downtown Saint Paul. it's 1:45am. I walk in to see a fellow Chicagoan eating with his woman and child, while wearing a Blackhawks jersey (they played here, lost in a shootout) and he's blasted drunk, cursing about him also losing his job as well as us "Sucking" tonight (Hawks actually played well against a good Wild team. fucking moron.) He eventually accosts 4 tourists from Chicagoland who were at the game, and disrupts their late night meal and even threatened two of my good friends who walked in about a milkshake (an incident I learned about after he left because I would have decked him at that point myself) I'm just sick and fucking tired of people who make my city look bad, be it here or back at home. It's so sad and embarassing to see the death and struggle and crime in my hometown, and for fucking morons from their to make themselves look bad while representing our proud city and our sports teams makes me fucking sick. (For the record, said asshole is also a Cubs fan. explains a bit more)
* I've been watching this show "Girls" that comes on HBO. I'm catching up online because I refuse to spend any more cash on cable in this year than I have to. I'm watching the First Season, really funny shit, very awkward sex scenes but just a generally funny show. And then I hit Episode 4 and 5, when one of the charactors (SORRY, SPOILER ALERT!) who has had a long going issue with her boyfriend about how he was so into her and that she doesn't love him as much, eventually they breakup after the BF reads the diary of the main character (who is BFF's with the GF) and then the Girlfriend gets mad at her friend, get this. FOR WRITING THIS SHIT IN HER PERSONAL DIARY! Are You Fucking Bleeping Me right now! She got upset because her friend knew the truth about how she felt, and so what does the Girlfriend do, she chases the newly crowned ex-boyfriend, and they talk and she literally begs him to take her back, which leads to this awkward sex scene and she ends up bumping her head on this partition of the bed, as if she has a fucking epiphany, and BAM!, She wants to break up with him. I have never been so mad at a scene from a television show in my entire fucking life as I was when I saw this shit. And what made me sooooo upset about this, is because THIS SHIT REALLY HAPPENS IN REAL FUCKING LIFE!!!! Countless people (mostly women) I Know who have fucking dealt with some bullshit relationship or situation where they are unhappy and yet when they realise it, and do the right thing by ending the relationship, they get sad and fucking hormonal and then decide to change their minds as if AS IF the fucking situation has flipped over like a fucking piece of paper on a windy day and that everything is cute, cool and hunky-fucking-dorey now after that happened. THE. DUMBEST. SHIT. I'VE. EVER/ SEEN. OR. HEARD. EVER! Stop It! Stop subjecting yourself to situations to where you are being treated like dogshit, because eventually, if you keep doing it, you will become the dogshit you are being treated like. Start using that fucking grey matter up top and quit being a dumbass and treat yourself better in life.
* I'm going to end this rant on a note that I've also said before. Mean what you say, and say what you mean, because no one likes a hypocrite, nor does anyone like someone who blames their actions and thoughts on other outside shit. I can outdrink the fucking populous of the neighborhood I live in and I've heard 3 different people in 24 hours blame shit they've done on either drinking or being "out of it" Get your fucking shit together and stop using anything, be it person or substance, to blame for anything you've done. If it's a mistake, it's a mistake and own up to it, but be real with the shit. Hide behind something like a coward, fucking fade like a coward.
Thanks folks. Have fun this weekend! Super Bowl is this Sunday! Bet the Niners and the Over!
* Tonight, I just left Mickey's Diner. The World Famous "Mighty Ducks Restaurant where Charlie's Mom Worked" in Downtown Saint Paul. it's 1:45am. I walk in to see a fellow Chicagoan eating with his woman and child, while wearing a Blackhawks jersey (they played here, lost in a shootout) and he's blasted drunk, cursing about him also losing his job as well as us "Sucking" tonight (Hawks actually played well against a good Wild team. fucking moron.) He eventually accosts 4 tourists from Chicagoland who were at the game, and disrupts their late night meal and even threatened two of my good friends who walked in about a milkshake (an incident I learned about after he left because I would have decked him at that point myself) I'm just sick and fucking tired of people who make my city look bad, be it here or back at home. It's so sad and embarassing to see the death and struggle and crime in my hometown, and for fucking morons from their to make themselves look bad while representing our proud city and our sports teams makes me fucking sick. (For the record, said asshole is also a Cubs fan. explains a bit more)
* I've been watching this show "Girls" that comes on HBO. I'm catching up online because I refuse to spend any more cash on cable in this year than I have to. I'm watching the First Season, really funny shit, very awkward sex scenes but just a generally funny show. And then I hit Episode 4 and 5, when one of the charactors (SORRY, SPOILER ALERT!) who has had a long going issue with her boyfriend about how he was so into her and that she doesn't love him as much, eventually they breakup after the BF reads the diary of the main character (who is BFF's with the GF) and then the Girlfriend gets mad at her friend, get this. FOR WRITING THIS SHIT IN HER PERSONAL DIARY! Are You Fucking Bleeping Me right now! She got upset because her friend knew the truth about how she felt, and so what does the Girlfriend do, she chases the newly crowned ex-boyfriend, and they talk and she literally begs him to take her back, which leads to this awkward sex scene and she ends up bumping her head on this partition of the bed, as if she has a fucking epiphany, and BAM!, She wants to break up with him. I have never been so mad at a scene from a television show in my entire fucking life as I was when I saw this shit. And what made me sooooo upset about this, is because THIS SHIT REALLY HAPPENS IN REAL FUCKING LIFE!!!! Countless people (mostly women) I Know who have fucking dealt with some bullshit relationship or situation where they are unhappy and yet when they realise it, and do the right thing by ending the relationship, they get sad and fucking hormonal and then decide to change their minds as if AS IF the fucking situation has flipped over like a fucking piece of paper on a windy day and that everything is cute, cool and hunky-fucking-dorey now after that happened. THE. DUMBEST. SHIT. I'VE. EVER/ SEEN. OR. HEARD. EVER! Stop It! Stop subjecting yourself to situations to where you are being treated like dogshit, because eventually, if you keep doing it, you will become the dogshit you are being treated like. Start using that fucking grey matter up top and quit being a dumbass and treat yourself better in life.
* I'm going to end this rant on a note that I've also said before. Mean what you say, and say what you mean, because no one likes a hypocrite, nor does anyone like someone who blames their actions and thoughts on other outside shit. I can outdrink the fucking populous of the neighborhood I live in and I've heard 3 different people in 24 hours blame shit they've done on either drinking or being "out of it" Get your fucking shit together and stop using anything, be it person or substance, to blame for anything you've done. If it's a mistake, it's a mistake and own up to it, but be real with the shit. Hide behind something like a coward, fucking fade like a coward.
Thanks folks. Have fun this weekend! Super Bowl is this Sunday! Bet the Niners and the Over!
January 28, 2013
The Carrie Diaries!
So it's well-documented how I'm a huge fan of the show Sex & The City (pretty sure I'm in the Guinness Book of Records for only straight male with the entire series on DVD, and in the Collector's Box). Well earlier this month, the CW debuted The Carrie Diaries, which is the Candace Bushnell penned novel pre-dating S&TC about Carrie Bradshaw as a 16 year old girl, living in Connecticut with her Dad and little sister after the loss of their Mom to cancer. She has her clique of friends, and she gets an internship working with a Law Firm in Manhattan, which then leads to her meeting a random lady with a British accent and she discovers how awesome city life and fashion is.
The pilot show was kind of a stretch to explain the story line, but it gets increasingly better and sucks you in just like S&TC does. AnnaSophia Robb does a wonderful job of capturing the quirkiness and wit that Sarah Jessica Parker does playing Carrie. However, I'm personally not a fan of her sister Dorrit (who is mysteriously never mentioned in S&TC) or her father Tom. It's just odd seeing Carrie not as independent as before, but kind of neat to see the transformation of her becoming a woman in the City. The show also does a wonderful job of capturing the style and music of the Mid-80's (I'm assuming someone is gonna break out some coke in a bullet before the season ends) For anyone who hasn't seen or followed S&TC, should definitely watch The Carrie Diaries first and then you can see the transition of Carrie into the fashionista-writer that took the world by storm.
The Carrie Diaries come on the CW Network on Mondays at 8pm Eastern (check your local listings)
The pilot show was kind of a stretch to explain the story line, but it gets increasingly better and sucks you in just like S&TC does. AnnaSophia Robb does a wonderful job of capturing the quirkiness and wit that Sarah Jessica Parker does playing Carrie. However, I'm personally not a fan of her sister Dorrit (who is mysteriously never mentioned in S&TC) or her father Tom. It's just odd seeing Carrie not as independent as before, but kind of neat to see the transformation of her becoming a woman in the City. The show also does a wonderful job of capturing the style and music of the Mid-80's (I'm assuming someone is gonna break out some coke in a bullet before the season ends) For anyone who hasn't seen or followed S&TC, should definitely watch The Carrie Diaries first and then you can see the transition of Carrie into the fashionista-writer that took the world by storm.
The Carrie Diaries come on the CW Network on Mondays at 8pm Eastern (check your local listings)
January 12, 2013
Grab Bag #18: Bunch of Shit
Happy 2013 Everyone! There's been a lot of shit to talk about, so let's hop into it!
* Some really good commercials out on TV recently. My favorites are the Geico Eddie Money Travel Agency, the Zoosk Heart, and the whole set of Wendy's ads with the super hot redhead. As much as I hate most fast-food, I would eat a meal from there to meet this lady.
* The NFL Playoffs are Well underway. Lots of shockers with the Baltimore Ravens upsetting the Denver Broncos and the Green Bay Packers finding another way to "Discount Double Choke" in the postseason against the San Francisco 49ers. Hopefully Ray Lewis can capture a title to end up his Hall of Fame Career.
* The NHL Lockout has finally ended. However, the fans are left with a crammed schedule, and worries about injury issues with guys only dealing with one week of training camp. Not every player went overseas or trained on-ice as much, but we shall see a sloppy, grittier game that hopefully will not be bogged down with poor officiating like the end of last season. Gary Bettman is a fucking piece of shit and I'll sip champagne when his eyes close just like I did for Bill Wirtz.
* DJANGO UNCHAINED IS THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL-TIME!!!
Seriously. Most of you who know me well know my favorite movie ever is Scarface. Well that all changed a couple days after X-Mas when I went to see Django. It's Scarface, Pulp Fiction, The Help, and Smokin' Aces bundled into one. There's some Tarentino-quality humor parts and some amazing twists and turns that only Quentin can pull off. Excellent acting by everyone from Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Samuel L. Jackson, Kerry Washington, and a couple of surprise faces I won't ruin for you if you haven't seen it. GO SEE THIS FUCKING MOVIE! IT'S AHHMAZZING!!!
* A band to Check out in 2013 is Beast Patrol. This Glam-ish Indie trio from N.Y.C has the right mix of 80's grit and modern sound. Their EP, "Fierce & Grateful" has been spinning constantly on my laptop for months now. Listen to it HERE
* Later this Month, I will start doing interviews with interesting people from some of the subjects I talk about on here, Such as Food, Sports, Dating, Music, and Booze. So stay tuned for that new segment and if you have any suggestions of people I should interview, E-mail courtsideseatstohell@gmail.com
* Congrats to the Alabama Crimson Tide Football team, who captured the National Title by stomping out Notre Dame. But an even bigger congratulations goes out to QB A.J. McCarron, for not only winning on the field, but winning off the field by dating 2012 Miss Alabama winner Katherine Webb. This southern belle got ESPN Commentator Brent Musberger all hot and bothered and caused many a fellow (myself included) to conduct a thorough Google Search to see who she was.
*
* Some really good commercials out on TV recently. My favorites are the Geico Eddie Money Travel Agency, the Zoosk Heart, and the whole set of Wendy's ads with the super hot redhead. As much as I hate most fast-food, I would eat a meal from there to meet this lady.
* The NFL Playoffs are Well underway. Lots of shockers with the Baltimore Ravens upsetting the Denver Broncos and the Green Bay Packers finding another way to "Discount Double Choke" in the postseason against the San Francisco 49ers. Hopefully Ray Lewis can capture a title to end up his Hall of Fame Career.
* The NHL Lockout has finally ended. However, the fans are left with a crammed schedule, and worries about injury issues with guys only dealing with one week of training camp. Not every player went overseas or trained on-ice as much, but we shall see a sloppy, grittier game that hopefully will not be bogged down with poor officiating like the end of last season. Gary Bettman is a fucking piece of shit and I'll sip champagne when his eyes close just like I did for Bill Wirtz.
* DJANGO UNCHAINED IS THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL-TIME!!!
Seriously. Most of you who know me well know my favorite movie ever is Scarface. Well that all changed a couple days after X-Mas when I went to see Django. It's Scarface, Pulp Fiction, The Help, and Smokin' Aces bundled into one. There's some Tarentino-quality humor parts and some amazing twists and turns that only Quentin can pull off. Excellent acting by everyone from Jamie Foxx, Christoph Waltz, Samuel L. Jackson, Kerry Washington, and a couple of surprise faces I won't ruin for you if you haven't seen it. GO SEE THIS FUCKING MOVIE! IT'S AHHMAZZING!!!
* A band to Check out in 2013 is Beast Patrol. This Glam-ish Indie trio from N.Y.C has the right mix of 80's grit and modern sound. Their EP, "Fierce & Grateful" has been spinning constantly on my laptop for months now. Listen to it HERE
* Later this Month, I will start doing interviews with interesting people from some of the subjects I talk about on here, Such as Food, Sports, Dating, Music, and Booze. So stay tuned for that new segment and if you have any suggestions of people I should interview, E-mail courtsideseatstohell@gmail.com
* Congrats to the Alabama Crimson Tide Football team, who captured the National Title by stomping out Notre Dame. But an even bigger congratulations goes out to QB A.J. McCarron, for not only winning on the field, but winning off the field by dating 2012 Miss Alabama winner Katherine Webb. This southern belle got ESPN Commentator Brent Musberger all hot and bothered and caused many a fellow (myself included) to conduct a thorough Google Search to see who she was.
*
December 28, 2012
2012: Reviewed
Well, here we are. We didn't get wiped out by The Rapture that was supposed to go down on 12/21/12, and the Blog is almost a year old. For me, personally, I am sooooo glad 2012 is finishing up. I did not have a wonderful year. I left my old band, and subsequently took a break from music. In March, I had to have an emergency gallbladder removal surgery, and in the last several months, I've had to deal with a serious illness in my family. A few cool things did take place this year however. I made some new friends, started this little blog that you are reading, attended my 500th live sporting event, and re-modeled my apartment. A lot of wild and stupid shit happened too, Such as me recently cracking my front tooth outside of a bar and me almost sleeping with a chick with braces
As far as the world around us, well, there was plenty of bullshit to keep us busy. From Television and Media garbage like Honey Boo Boo, Gangnam Style and 50 Shades of Gray (Bored) to the Election (zzzzzz....) Even sports was crazy this year with the NHL Lockout, the Saints Bounty Scandal and the Replacement Refs in the NFL
Basically, 2012 was a reflective year. A year full of experiences to learn from and use to better ourselves in the future ahead.
Anyways, I want to thank every last single person who has viewed this Blog in 2012. What started as a drunken facebook rant and a nifty idea from a couple of my friends has turned into my soapbox which, based on your responses, have made you laugh, pissed you off, and most importantly, made you think for a little bit. I am happy that I can contribute to your day with the crazy thoughts in my head.
So, raise a glass of something strong and let's toast 2012 goodbye, and to an awesome 2013 ahead.
Have a Happy, Safe and Epic New Year. And like I always remind you, Keep your genitals out of harm's way.
Alex B. Smith
Courtside Seats to Hell
As far as the world around us, well, there was plenty of bullshit to keep us busy. From Television and Media garbage like Honey Boo Boo, Gangnam Style and 50 Shades of Gray (Bored) to the Election (zzzzzz....) Even sports was crazy this year with the NHL Lockout, the Saints Bounty Scandal and the Replacement Refs in the NFL
Basically, 2012 was a reflective year. A year full of experiences to learn from and use to better ourselves in the future ahead.
Anyways, I want to thank every last single person who has viewed this Blog in 2012. What started as a drunken facebook rant and a nifty idea from a couple of my friends has turned into my soapbox which, based on your responses, have made you laugh, pissed you off, and most importantly, made you think for a little bit. I am happy that I can contribute to your day with the crazy thoughts in my head.
So, raise a glass of something strong and let's toast 2012 goodbye, and to an awesome 2013 ahead.
Have a Happy, Safe and Epic New Year. And like I always remind you, Keep your genitals out of harm's way.
Alex B. Smith
Courtside Seats to Hell
December 12, 2012
Grab Bag #17: Catfish, Pink Snapper, and Swordfish
It's only fitting that I fell asleep talking to a friend about Seafood, and then I wake up to this shit:
* So, MTV (The Channel Formerly Known as "Music Television") has a new reality show out called Catfish. As you know, I'm 23 going on 46 so I get lost in some of these terms. I didn't know that Catfish is a term for people who make fake profiles on Facebook or Twitter or whatever social media site you prefer, and then bait people into having online relationships with them,
In Episode 1 (according to Wikipedia, there will be 12 of these. holy fuck) we have a guy from Georgia who has been talking to a girl named Abigail (Abby) from Biloxi, Miss. They have chatted on Facebook for over a year and have talked on the phone, but haven't met each other. They have had some hardcore messages like (OMG I Luv U Foreverrrrrrr!!! <3 Marry Meeee" kinda shit) But when Georgia dude wanted to meet the love of his life, she had an "Unexpected Family Emergency" come up. (Women are real good for pulling that shit.. Just saying) and so he contacted this show to finally get to meet Abby, who according to her Facebook profile, is a dainty looking slim blonde gal. Fairly easy on the eyes. They chat, he drops the deal that there's this MTV show, I wanna meet ya, blah blah blah.
So she kinda tries to duck the meeting but agrees anyway. So now Georgia dude (Jarrod is his name, just remembered that) goes to Biloxi to meet Abby. They pull up to what looks like a fucking mini barn or an old slave quarters and knock on thestable Front Door and there's no answer. Walk around to the side and there is a brunette standing outside, Not Abby. It's Melissa. The Real Person Jarrod was talking to! It's like the 1-900 Phone Sex Bait and Switch for the 21st Century! Now don't get me wrong, the fact that Melissa isn't like Abby in the photo sense but the fact that she fucking lied to him about EVERYTHING!!! And then blamed it on her self-esteem issues. Um, Lady do you realise this is fucking fraud and could have gotten you into some serious trouble. If you can't face someone then work that issue out on your time, now you dragged this guy's heart through babyshit because you can't deal with yourself? you selfish stupid bitch. And of course she keeps saying, "But I do care about him" The Fuck You Do! You were another person for a year plus and didn't once ever think this shit would hit the fan.
I have done online dating, and I am against it. I believe people should stop being such fucking introverts and go meet people when they go outside. But for Tebow's sake, You can possibly think this catfish shit will work if you try it. Just dumb. Get a life.
* Increepy Celebrity news, Anne Hathaway (drool) is in the film adaptation of Les Miserables, and at the Red Carpet Premier, not only was she wearing this hot bondage style leather wraparound kinda dress but she left the dessert tray off the pie if you know what I mean, Here's the Safe for Work version (E-mail courtsideseatstohell@gmail.com if you wanna see the other one)
That's all for now. Have a Swimmingly awesome Hump Day today!
* So, MTV (The Channel Formerly Known as "Music Television") has a new reality show out called Catfish. As you know, I'm 23 going on 46 so I get lost in some of these terms. I didn't know that Catfish is a term for people who make fake profiles on Facebook or Twitter or whatever social media site you prefer, and then bait people into having online relationships with them,
In Episode 1 (according to Wikipedia, there will be 12 of these. holy fuck) we have a guy from Georgia who has been talking to a girl named Abigail (Abby) from Biloxi, Miss. They have chatted on Facebook for over a year and have talked on the phone, but haven't met each other. They have had some hardcore messages like (OMG I Luv U Foreverrrrrrr!!! <3 Marry Meeee" kinda shit) But when Georgia dude wanted to meet the love of his life, she had an "Unexpected Family Emergency" come up. (Women are real good for pulling that shit.. Just saying) and so he contacted this show to finally get to meet Abby, who according to her Facebook profile, is a dainty looking slim blonde gal. Fairly easy on the eyes. They chat, he drops the deal that there's this MTV show, I wanna meet ya, blah blah blah.
So she kinda tries to duck the meeting but agrees anyway. So now Georgia dude (Jarrod is his name, just remembered that) goes to Biloxi to meet Abby. They pull up to what looks like a fucking mini barn or an old slave quarters and knock on the
I have done online dating, and I am against it. I believe people should stop being such fucking introverts and go meet people when they go outside. But for Tebow's sake, You can possibly think this catfish shit will work if you try it. Just dumb. Get a life.
* In
To be honest, It wasn't as bad as other car shots we've seen. I could do a slideshow but most of us are reading this at work.
* I'm making Swordfish tonight, Here's the recipe I will be using for Ponzu Sauce:
1/2 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup fresh orange juice
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 tablespoon water
1 tablespoon sweet rice wine
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper
Combine all ingredients in a bowl. Cover and chill.
That's all for now. Have a Swimmingly awesome Hump Day today!
December 11, 2012
Why Northern Illinois Going to the Orange Bowl is Awesome
This New Year's Day, I will be proudly watching my favorite College Football team, the Northern Illinois University Huskies play Florida State on ESPN in the Orange Bowl. Just typing that sentence is crazy and awesome because of all of the things that happened to lead up to this game.
For me, this story starts in 1997. I remember being in my room, watching college football on a Saturday when my mom walked in and telling me what she thought was good news. My god-cousin, Vince Thompson, was getting a full ride to NIU. I remember feeling my face drop and if I was swearing back then, I'm sure the first words out of my mouth would have been "You gotta be fucking kidding, right?" but in '97, the first words I uttered was, "They Suck!"
Vince was a multi-sport star athlete and top student at St. Rita High School in Chicago, A Catholic League powerhouse for football (and the shithole I would end up stuck in a decade later) With his great grades and even better on-field numbers, I thought for sure he was a shoe-in to go to either Northwestern or Purdue (which made since because he was into engineering as well) or any other Big 10 or even Big East schools (When the Big East had decent football programs like Syracuse and Miami)
I found out later that he went to Northern for 2 reasons, It was a full ride and he was rejected from Northwestern and Purdue as far as athletic scholarships due to his size (As a Cornerback/Wide Reciever and Return man, he was only 5'7" and 155, very short and small for a D-Back going up against wideouts 6'2" and up)
Despite this, it was still going to be cool to finally get to go see some Division 1-A college football live. Me and my folks and my god-uncle and his wife would load our cars up with food, pop and booze and make the near 3-hour trip to DeKalb and watch the Huskies, well, Pretty much get their asses kicked every home game the first years in 98 and 99 (they were 0-11 in 1997) But this team started showing small improvements, They had some solid players such as WR P.J. Fleck (Who ended up having a cup of coffee with the 49ers for a year) and O-Lineman Ryan Diem (Who went on to be a Super Bowl Champ with the Colts) They also had a power run game led by Thomas Hammock, who would have been a serviceable back on Sundays had he not had a heart condition that ended his career. My Cousin wasn't too bad either, Leading the Mid-American Conference one season with 5 Interceptions and was mentioned as a player to watch out for in 2002 for the Nagurski Award.
The Huskies had started to win a few games here and there along the way, and once Vince graduated from NIU in '03, they had a blueprint to draw with for the future. Power running football with a solid defense that can make key stops and takeaways. They made a big jump and splash in 2003, beating Maryland at home in OT on regional TV, then beating ranked Alabama on the road (No easy task the last 20 years) and also beating Iowa State. It was weird to finally see NIU games on TV every other weekend and hear ESPN mention them in the polls and on broadcasts. They even cracked the bottom of this newfangled system they call the Bowl Championship Series for a week. Then they lost some conference games late and that was the end of it. The 2003 team went 10-2 and didn't even get invited to a bowl game. All of the hard work and dedication those men put in went for nought.
However, Under the leadership of Coach Joe Novak, this club kept winning and eventually made it into some mid-level bowl games. They were turning out some key players too such as Running Backs Garrett Wolfe and Michael Turner, both having good careers in the NFL. They hit a bump in the road and had a bad year in 2007 and Novak decided it was time for a change. He retired and the team signed long time successful coach at Southern Illinois, Jerry Kill.
J. Kill made a significant impact right off the bat in DeKalb. They made it to 3 straight bowl games and was now mentioned year after year in the Chicagoland area right along with the Northwestern's and Illinois's of the state. After dropping the 2010 MAC Title game, and 2 weeks before a bowl bid, Jerry Kill took off and left to go to Minnesota (Big mistake on his part and the Gophers part) and ended up signing coach Dave Doeren to head the team.
Doeren finally did what J.Kill couldn't and Joe Novak never could have imagined in 2 seasons. NIU finally won the MAC Championship Game last season, beating Ohio on a last second field goal. They finished 11-3 and won another bowl game. This season, with the arm and legs of QB Jordan Lynch, The Huskies, after dropping a close game against Iowa at Soldier Field, went on an absolute assault, crushing everyone the rest of their season, winning a second straight MAC Title, and because of how bad a ton of big schools were this year along with good programs facing bowl bans, The Dog finally got it's shot. Northern Illinois is about to play a meaningful New Year's Day Bowl Game versus a big conference school.
So while Kirk Herbstreit can be a conceited prick and think that this game is a "Joke" match-up, the System that he and so many of these brainless assholes in college football thinks works to pick a National Champion, is why NIU is in the Orange Bowl. But in reality, it's way more than that. It was the work of Tons of Players, Coaches and Staff from the last 15-16 seasons that made this happen. Guys who went un-noticed and never made a dent in any draft talks, Guys like Doug Free, Dan Sheldon, Vinson Renyolds, Steve Azar, Chandler Harnish, Benji Peacock, Chris Finlen, Marlon Rucker, Darrell Hill and Vince Thompson. Guys who weren't exactly Blue-Chip recruits or 1st Round Picks, but men who played their hearts out and transformed a shitty football program at a western suburban college outside of Chicago, into a school that could change the landscape of midwestern football in the 21st Century. This bowl game is for those guys who worked and bled and made strides but never made it this far. And while my God-Uncle is no longer here on earth with us, I know he'll be looking down in Miami January 1st, wearing his Huskie fleece pullover, watching what none of us ever thought would happen back in 1997.
For me, this story starts in 1997. I remember being in my room, watching college football on a Saturday when my mom walked in and telling me what she thought was good news. My god-cousin, Vince Thompson, was getting a full ride to NIU. I remember feeling my face drop and if I was swearing back then, I'm sure the first words out of my mouth would have been "You gotta be fucking kidding, right?" but in '97, the first words I uttered was, "They Suck!"
Vince was a multi-sport star athlete and top student at St. Rita High School in Chicago, A Catholic League powerhouse for football (and the shithole I would end up stuck in a decade later) With his great grades and even better on-field numbers, I thought for sure he was a shoe-in to go to either Northwestern or Purdue (which made since because he was into engineering as well) or any other Big 10 or even Big East schools (When the Big East had decent football programs like Syracuse and Miami)
I found out later that he went to Northern for 2 reasons, It was a full ride and he was rejected from Northwestern and Purdue as far as athletic scholarships due to his size (As a Cornerback/Wide Reciever and Return man, he was only 5'7" and 155, very short and small for a D-Back going up against wideouts 6'2" and up)
Despite this, it was still going to be cool to finally get to go see some Division 1-A college football live. Me and my folks and my god-uncle and his wife would load our cars up with food, pop and booze and make the near 3-hour trip to DeKalb and watch the Huskies, well, Pretty much get their asses kicked every home game the first years in 98 and 99 (they were 0-11 in 1997) But this team started showing small improvements, They had some solid players such as WR P.J. Fleck (Who ended up having a cup of coffee with the 49ers for a year) and O-Lineman Ryan Diem (Who went on to be a Super Bowl Champ with the Colts) They also had a power run game led by Thomas Hammock, who would have been a serviceable back on Sundays had he not had a heart condition that ended his career. My Cousin wasn't too bad either, Leading the Mid-American Conference one season with 5 Interceptions and was mentioned as a player to watch out for in 2002 for the Nagurski Award.
The Huskies had started to win a few games here and there along the way, and once Vince graduated from NIU in '03, they had a blueprint to draw with for the future. Power running football with a solid defense that can make key stops and takeaways. They made a big jump and splash in 2003, beating Maryland at home in OT on regional TV, then beating ranked Alabama on the road (No easy task the last 20 years) and also beating Iowa State. It was weird to finally see NIU games on TV every other weekend and hear ESPN mention them in the polls and on broadcasts. They even cracked the bottom of this newfangled system they call the Bowl Championship Series for a week. Then they lost some conference games late and that was the end of it. The 2003 team went 10-2 and didn't even get invited to a bowl game. All of the hard work and dedication those men put in went for nought.
However, Under the leadership of Coach Joe Novak, this club kept winning and eventually made it into some mid-level bowl games. They were turning out some key players too such as Running Backs Garrett Wolfe and Michael Turner, both having good careers in the NFL. They hit a bump in the road and had a bad year in 2007 and Novak decided it was time for a change. He retired and the team signed long time successful coach at Southern Illinois, Jerry Kill.
J. Kill made a significant impact right off the bat in DeKalb. They made it to 3 straight bowl games and was now mentioned year after year in the Chicagoland area right along with the Northwestern's and Illinois's of the state. After dropping the 2010 MAC Title game, and 2 weeks before a bowl bid, Jerry Kill took off and left to go to Minnesota (Big mistake on his part and the Gophers part) and ended up signing coach Dave Doeren to head the team.
Doeren finally did what J.Kill couldn't and Joe Novak never could have imagined in 2 seasons. NIU finally won the MAC Championship Game last season, beating Ohio on a last second field goal. They finished 11-3 and won another bowl game. This season, with the arm and legs of QB Jordan Lynch, The Huskies, after dropping a close game against Iowa at Soldier Field, went on an absolute assault, crushing everyone the rest of their season, winning a second straight MAC Title, and because of how bad a ton of big schools were this year along with good programs facing bowl bans, The Dog finally got it's shot. Northern Illinois is about to play a meaningful New Year's Day Bowl Game versus a big conference school.
So while Kirk Herbstreit can be a conceited prick and think that this game is a "Joke" match-up, the System that he and so many of these brainless assholes in college football thinks works to pick a National Champion, is why NIU is in the Orange Bowl. But in reality, it's way more than that. It was the work of Tons of Players, Coaches and Staff from the last 15-16 seasons that made this happen. Guys who went un-noticed and never made a dent in any draft talks, Guys like Doug Free, Dan Sheldon, Vinson Renyolds, Steve Azar, Chandler Harnish, Benji Peacock, Chris Finlen, Marlon Rucker, Darrell Hill and Vince Thompson. Guys who weren't exactly Blue-Chip recruits or 1st Round Picks, but men who played their hearts out and transformed a shitty football program at a western suburban college outside of Chicago, into a school that could change the landscape of midwestern football in the 21st Century. This bowl game is for those guys who worked and bled and made strides but never made it this far. And while my God-Uncle is no longer here on earth with us, I know he'll be looking down in Miami January 1st, wearing his Huskie fleece pullover, watching what none of us ever thought would happen back in 1997.
December 7, 2012
Grab Bag #16: Boxing, Booze and Broads. Yeah. I like that combo.
* This Saturday, Boxing Great Manny Pacquiao is facing Juan Manuel Marquez for the 4th time in their epic rivalry. This clash for modern boxing fans is our answer to the throwback slugfests of Sugar Ray Leonard vs Roberto Duran or Arturo Gatti vs Mickey Ward. This will be a fight to watch. If you aren't into boxing, you should start watching with this fight. Or check out this cool video. And this video
* Holiday time is upon us, and you're probably gonna go home to see family or invite family over. And 9.9 out of 10 families are fucking crazy, Here's something to ease the insanity (maybe)
*Rangpur Rickey
- 2 Shots Tanqueray Rangpur (Lime) Gin
- 1 ounce Lime Juice
- 1/ 2 ounce simple syrup
- dash of Soda Water
Build in a rocks glass and serve with a Lime Wedge
*Johnnie Walker Black Label Neat
- 1 1/2 shots Johnnie Walker Black Label
Pour in a glass and serve with a side glass of water
*Baileys Spiced Cake Martini
2 Shots Bailey's Hazelnut
1 shot Smirnoff Iced Cake Vodka
1 sprinkle Nutmeg
Shake and strain into martini glass, sprinkle with nutmeg
*Speaking of wonderful and tastey things, (Send the kids out of the room) I always like to recap what I've done after I get through having sex. So last week, I was with this girl, running my usual routine and I realised some more observations:
1: I get the appeal of Doggy Style, but I'm not overly crazy about it. As a larger gentleman, either I have to get into this weird Victory / Tebowing pose or I have to just push her down like a ramp and it's just not as fun as porn makes it out to be.
2. I use regular ribbed condoms, they work for their dual purposes and feel nice, But I understand flavored condoms. It's weird when you're banging and then when you switch positions, you take a small break by going back down on her and you taste straight plastic
3. Smile! and Laugh! Sex is so much fun, why would you not laugh a little bit? I know whenever I'm having a great time, I'm all smiles and giggles.
*Hey wanna get me something for X-mas? This would be awesome!
Talk to ya later, Boneless Wings conclusion coming this weekend (Get Excited!)
* Holiday time is upon us, and you're probably gonna go home to see family or invite family over. And 9.9 out of 10 families are fucking crazy, Here's something to ease the insanity (maybe)
*Rangpur Rickey
- 2 Shots Tanqueray Rangpur (Lime) Gin
- 1 ounce Lime Juice
- 1/ 2 ounce simple syrup
- dash of Soda Water
Build in a rocks glass and serve with a Lime Wedge
*Johnnie Walker Black Label Neat
- 1 1/2 shots Johnnie Walker Black Label
Pour in a glass and serve with a side glass of water
*Baileys Spiced Cake Martini
2 Shots Bailey's Hazelnut
1 shot Smirnoff Iced Cake Vodka
1 sprinkle Nutmeg
Shake and strain into martini glass, sprinkle with nutmeg
*Speaking of wonderful and tastey things, (Send the kids out of the room) I always like to recap what I've done after I get through having sex. So last week, I was with this girl, running my usual routine and I realised some more observations:
1: I get the appeal of Doggy Style, but I'm not overly crazy about it. As a larger gentleman, either I have to get into this weird Victory / Tebowing pose or I have to just push her down like a ramp and it's just not as fun as porn makes it out to be.
2. I use regular ribbed condoms, they work for their dual purposes and feel nice, But I understand flavored condoms. It's weird when you're banging and then when you switch positions, you take a small break by going back down on her and you taste straight plastic
3. Smile! and Laugh! Sex is so much fun, why would you not laugh a little bit? I know whenever I'm having a great time, I'm all smiles and giggles.
*Hey wanna get me something for X-mas? This would be awesome!
Talk to ya later, Boneless Wings conclusion coming this weekend (Get Excited!)
November 26, 2012
Musical Stuff: Bands and Songs to Check Out
Here's some music I've been listening to lately
For those of you who like Pop-Punk like Paramore and VersaEmerge, Check out this Chicago band called Farraday.
Here's the video for "Put Me on the Next Plane"
Another song that I heard recently that is now stuck in my head is "True Affection" by The Blow
It's been around for a while, but I never knew who made it until recently
One of my favorite rappers out right now is Kendrick Lamar, He murders this beat on his new album.
I saw a new commercial for these new awful flavored vodkas created to get hot chicks drunk and I recognized the awesome voice in the song. It's the wonderfully talented, highly underrated Angela McClusky, the song is called "Sometimes" and it's not released yet, but, her new EP, "Lambeth Palace" is out. Here's a track from it called "Take Me Out Tonight":
November 20, 2012
A Rant: Thanksgiving in Black & White
So, Thursday is Thanksgiving, and for the 1st time, I will be cooking for the holiday as a result of staying in town and not flying home. I am grilling turkey breasts (because it's not blizzard like conditions yet) and I'm doing sweet potatoes and a corn dish that is a newer family tradition of mine.
Since Thanksgiving is a family holiday, many folks cook traditional fare related to their heritage of sorts. For example, I grew up with traditional southern black foods like Chit'lins (Chitterlings for you non-coloreds) and Collard greens as part of dinner. Lots of folks find that really weird (I do too. There's no real reason to choose to eat pig intestines, it made sense 200 years during slavery).
Upon looking up ideas for side dishes online, I noticed a lot of cranberry everything. I just find it funny no one gives a shit about cranberries outside of juice with vodka until this weekend, and then everyone and they mama wants to buy that damn can of cranberry sauce or make a cranberry chutney topping something. Then there's the, as I call them, "one-off" Vegetables. Shit like parsnips and brussel sprouts and cauliflower. Basically vegetables that you hear kids feeding to their dogs off the plate. Growing up, None of my friends ate any of this stuff for Thanksgiving. Mashed potatoes is a regular every day staple in most homes. (I grew up with baked potatoes) Macaroni and Cheese is a big thing in my family, Sweet Potatoes are a yearly staple as well. Most of my (white) friends say they don't care for sweet potato pies or whipped sweet potatoes. And I realised, once I looked up other recipes, that some jackass back in the day thought adding marshmallows to them would be a great idea. Wrong. All you need is butter, sugar, nutmeg and some vanilla extract. That's it. No cinnamon, No whipped cream and No Fuckin Marshmallows!
And what is the obsession with Stuffing and Casserole? Nothing sounds worse than dry ass cornbread mixed with veggies shoved in a turkey's hole. And it's not much better shoved in a baking pan either. Green beans were ment to be either boiled or fried and salted, not thrown in an oven with cheese and canned onion peels (don't even get me started with those flavorless pieces of nothing)
Whatever you and your family chow down on this Thanksgiving, I wish you all a safe, fun, and tastey holiday weekend. Watch some football and for fuck's sake, No Marshmallows!
November 7, 2012
Grab Bag #15: Give Up Your Clothes, Drink in Lakeview and Recapping The Election
Hello, sorry for being gone so long. Been with family in Chicago.
* As you all know, Hurricane Sandy kicked the shit out of the northeast corridor a couple weeks ago (thoughts and prayers with all affected, especially any of my readers out there)
Of course the Red Cross is asking for your financial contributions, but these people have lost EVERYTHING. So one thing I have plenty to donate and I'm sure a lot of you do as well is Clothing.
I am donating clothes from here in Chicago, as well as when I get back to Minnesota. So I'm asking everyone to take the time and look in your closets and dressers and get out some of those shirts and pants and stuff you haven't worn in awhile and help some people out. I'm looking to see which organizations are taking donations straight to the Northeast area. I'm guessing either Red Cross or Salvation Army (Call your local location and ask)
* Being up here in Chicagofor way too long For the last week+ I went to some bars over in the Lakeview area. One great spot located on the corner of Sheffield & Wellington called DMK Burger Bar, a Nebraska Cornhusker bar called Kirkwood Bar and an All-Ohio bar called Vaughan's Pub. I recommend visting all 3 of these spots if you are around the North Side of town.
* So, we have our President back in office. Barack Obama defeated Mitt Romney to retain the title last night. Here are some key points from the election coverage I noticed:
- If you watched WGN in the Chicago area or WGN America last night after the victory was announced, Melanie Griffith was being interviewed and she dropped the F-bomb last night on live TV (she said she was Fucking Excited) few people caught it, @bakeanddestroy mentioned it on her Twitter and there doesn't seem to be any video of it online, but it happened.
- I don't watch a ton of financial television networks and especially haven't watched Bloomberg TV since it was a DirecTV only channel and I had a shitty H.S project involving Overseas Stocks (long story) but I watched most of the election coverage on here and I enjoyed hearing the financial aspect of how the election would affect the nation.
...Did you really buy that above? hahahah, I watched and found my new television crush Trish Regan. With those green eyes and that whiskey-cigarette voice. I actually paid attention to most of whatever they were talking about.
- Wolf Blitzer didn't seem as racist as usual last night. Still not a fan. Asshole.
Ok, enough election talk. Have a good day. And don't forget, Barack still runs the military, if you want that beef
* As you all know, Hurricane Sandy kicked the shit out of the northeast corridor a couple weeks ago (thoughts and prayers with all affected, especially any of my readers out there)
Of course the Red Cross is asking for your financial contributions, but these people have lost EVERYTHING. So one thing I have plenty to donate and I'm sure a lot of you do as well is Clothing.
I am donating clothes from here in Chicago, as well as when I get back to Minnesota. So I'm asking everyone to take the time and look in your closets and dressers and get out some of those shirts and pants and stuff you haven't worn in awhile and help some people out. I'm looking to see which organizations are taking donations straight to the Northeast area. I'm guessing either Red Cross or Salvation Army (Call your local location and ask)
* Being up here in Chicago
* So, we have our President back in office. Barack Obama defeated Mitt Romney to retain the title last night. Here are some key points from the election coverage I noticed:
- If you watched WGN in the Chicago area or WGN America last night after the victory was announced, Melanie Griffith was being interviewed and she dropped the F-bomb last night on live TV (she said she was Fucking Excited) few people caught it, @bakeanddestroy mentioned it on her Twitter and there doesn't seem to be any video of it online, but it happened.
- I don't watch a ton of financial television networks and especially haven't watched Bloomberg TV since it was a DirecTV only channel and I had a shitty H.S project involving Overseas Stocks (long story) but I watched most of the election coverage on here and I enjoyed hearing the financial aspect of how the election would affect the nation.
...Did you really buy that above? hahahah, I watched and found my new television crush Trish Regan. With those green eyes and that whiskey-cigarette voice. I actually paid attention to most of whatever they were talking about.
- Wolf Blitzer didn't seem as racist as usual last night. Still not a fan. Asshole.
Ok, enough election talk. Have a good day. And don't forget, Barack still runs the military, if you want that beef
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)