hiatus...

Over the last several months, I have been trying to work on building myself back within the local music scene. I had gone back to writing poetry and working on my compilation of basslines and poems, titled "BassPoetry" and I have also tried to start up or work with some new artists and projects in the area.

While I understand the task of starting up from scratch, I realised recently that my heart and motivation for music is no longer what it once was. After my stepping down from my old project, I realized that the amount of work that I have put into music over parts of nearly 14 years have never came close to being reciprocated. That goes the same for the artists in which I have managed.

At 23, I realise that while there is a lot of life left to live, time is running short as to building a career and a path for the future. So I am talking this time to announce my indefinite leave of absence from the world of music. While I know that being in one city doesn't mean a career can't be formed somewhere else, I know that if I can't keep motivated and find people fully dedicated to music in a city that is known for a so-called strong music scene, then it would be more of a headache to try and pull it off anywhere else.

I know a few people will be disappointed to hear this news, mostly my family, who never had the chance to see me perform live, for which I am truly sorry for. And to the people who I'm currently working with on a social media capacity, I do apologize for this sudden dismissal from my work, but I will work with you all to make the transition smooth and easy.

It is time for me to move into a new chapter of life, and sadly, peforming and recording music seems far away from that new chapter. Perhaps at some point in life, music will find it way back in on a perfomance level, but I have other things I need to work on in the coming months.

In closing, I would like to thank every single person who has ever heard me perform live or in recording, all of you who have supported me in my 14 years of playing music, you mean the world to me and I thank you so much for enjoying the ride.

Alex B. Smith

Obvious Relationship Advice for the Oblivious

People have always come to me for different types of advice, but I was always stunned with people would ask me about advice with relationship and dating. People who know me well have heard of my string of luck in that department but yet people still ask me.

Well some shit that I've seen and have been involved with I can tell you about, but this shit is so damn obvious, that honestly, you should already see this if you are paying attention.

Situation #1 involves people I know from out of town. A guy I know (We'll call him Boyfriend for chart purposes) is dating a lady (Girlfriend) in which they work together (hardly ever a good thing to begin with). However, it's quite clear that the said lady really  likes another dude (Gentleman) who is also a co-worker at their office. It's now to the point of where when they all hang out after work, Girlfriend has a few too many and starts hitting on Gentleman, which rightfully pisses off Boyfriend, but Boyfriend gets mad at Gentleman instead of Girlfriend. 2 weeks ago, Gentleman and Girlfriend hang  out together at a bar. (Keep in mind, despite all of the flirting, Gentleman has Not slept with Girlfriend, which explains his chart name) Boyfriend gets furious and blows up Girlfriend's phone, which she isn't answering, eventually leaving Boyfriend to find Girlfriend at another mutual friend's house, where she was staying because she was too drunk to drive. Gentleman had left for the evening (avoiding the confrontation, he nearly fought Boyfriend at their job a month earlier) Boyfriend eventually picks up Girlfriend and they argue all the way home.

Advice For Boyfriend: It's pretty fucking clear that for your girlfriend to be hitting on another man that you work with and consider somewhat a friend, she obviously doesn't care about you as a boyfriend. And instead of getting pissed at Gentleman (Who could have become Asshole by fucking your GF) you should probably dump your Girlfriend.

Advice For Girlfriend: You need to get your shit together and fucking figure out who you really care about and want to be with. You are being rude to your boyfriend and dragging along Gentleman isn't cool, especially when he's being nice to you and as courteous as possible to Boyfriend.

Advice For Gentleman: You've done a nice job with the circumstance. Me, I'm an asshole and I would have banged Girlfriend's brains out, but you kept it classy. Personally, I would dodge this whole shitstorm and not bother with either one of them outside of work.


Situation #2 involves a Guy (Boyfriend) a Girl (Girlfriend) and an asshole (Asshole or Ass for short)
Boyfriend and Girlfriend have been dating for a little bit, and Girlfriend moves in recently. First weekend she's in town, she meets Asshole and they become friends. Asshole at first doesn't know that Girlfriend has said title. He however does find out upon meeting Boyfriend and now he becomes an Ass. Boyfriend has made it very clear that he is a jealous and passive person and now Asshole smells blood. He keeps texting Girlfriend, who is oblivious to the fact that Ass is hitting on her. Asshole goes out to the bars with both BF and GF and basically plays what I like to call Two-Way Flirting. He goes on the offensive by making contact with Girlfriend every chance he can and plays defense by keeping Boyfriend at bay (usually with friendly conversation and alcohol) In fact, Asshole had a perfect opportunity to be a real dick when he had Girlfriend at his spot drunk and Boyfriend was upset about it and nearly left her there in a fit of rage. However, Asshole isn't trying to be Creeper, he actually likes Girlfriend and so he pumped the brakes at that point. One night un-related, Boyfriend and Girlfriend have an argument which leads to a break-up (temporary one at that but still) Asshole hears this news and basically alters his style to a more classic approach. However, before Asshole has a chance to be more legit about the situation, they get back together. Eventually Asshole starts to feel bad and he talks to Girlfriend about what he's been doing, she's upset about it and tries to get past it and wants to just be friends with Asshole.

Advice For Boyfriend: You need to man the fuck up and realise when someone is macking on your girl. While Asshole didn't succeed, one day, another dude just might step up and say/do the right shit to steal her off your arm. You never even called out Asshole or try to fight Asshole or anything. It's not robbing the safe in the bank if you leave the keys on the table. Your girlfriend probably deserves better, like a dude who will pay attention to her and not just flip out like a 5 year old girl. Be lucky Girlfriend loves you and is still with you. Don't get mad. Do better.

Advice for Girlfriend: You kept everything honest with everyone, which is what you were supposed to do. I would say just be a little more attentive to guys who come around you in the future. And probably you should ask yourself, How attentive is my Boyfriend, and why didn't he do anything if he realised what Asshole was doing. Not to get all medieval or anything but shouldn't boyfriends try to protect their girlfriends?

Advice for Asshole: You walked into a trap of sorts at the beginning, the classic "You can't tell if they are really seriously dating or not" But once you found out what was up, something bad snapped in you. It happens. Like I said to Boyfriend, it's nor robbery if you leave the safe keys on the table, you took a  long shot bet on a woman you liked and it failed. Dust yourself off and try someone else and don't be an asshole like that. Go search for single women (MUCH Easier said than done, but you can't go buying cars out of people's garages)


So yeah, that's my Obvious advice for now. If anyone else has any situations or stories they want to e-mail to me and I can review them with my advice, send it to me at courtsideseatstohell@gmail.com

Are Sports Fans Becoming Too Sensitive??

Now, In previous posts, I have talked about the sensitivity of people in life, mostly with the modern and future generations and how they have been raised. But now, I'm asking this question to the sports fans of the world. Are fans becoming too sensitive?

Recently, there were fan incidents in Atlanta (Braves bad call leading to garbage being thrown on the field) and Kansas City (Chiefs fans booing/cheering QB Matt Cassel when injured) and the Refgate Response from Green Bay (Packers whining about that call, threatening to riot allegedly)

Then, There's West Virginia.

Let it be known that I do not like the Mountaineers. I always lose money when I bet on or against them, their uniforms are ugly and I don't really care for that region personally (Ohio Valley) and I have a good friend from H.S. who attends WVU and while I know he's a good person, not much can be said for a lot of the other students based on the numerous reports I hear from writers and sports personalities and other fans who have been there and heard tons of degrading comments, racist comments and other general rude showings that they use to create their home field advantage.

2 weekends ago, WVU pulled out an exciting 48-45 win over Big 12 opponent Texas down in Austin. Back in Morgantown, Mountaineer kids started to light couches on fire, flip cars, toss garbage, the whole nine riot yards. I've never understood this behavior in any capacity, but especially during a Win? What is burning your cheap dorm furniture going to prove to anyone, other than you not having a place to pass out on next weekend?

Last week, the Mountaineer express, led by Heisman Hopeful QB Geno Smith, came to a screeching halt at the unlikely hands of Texas Tech, pretty much putting a dent into their hopes of a B(C)S Title Game. I haven't heard of any of the same violent rioting news after this crushing loss, but one can only assume some minor incidents took place.

Now this weekend, Top 5 and legit Title contender Kansas State strolls into Morgantown for what was already going to be an interesting game to watch on the field, but now might be something to witness around the stadium as well. This week, a fan forum (www.goEMAW.com) has come, if not under fire, but under the spotlight over a series of posts regarding comments over this week's matchup. A lot of different things were said, mostly joking about West Virginia's rural location, stereotypical "Drunken Meth-headed Toothless Cousin-Fuckin' Hillbilles" type of chatter that is purely satirical and to me personally, quite entertaining to read. Apparently, word got around to some WVU fans that their team was being trashed-talked on an opponent's forum (OOOH What a fucking shocker!) and they went in for blood. People lined the forum with threats of violence, attacks against a former prominent member of the board who tragically passed from cancer, and one lady even went so far as to string together quotes from the thread and write a Cease & Desist style letter to the Head of the NCAA. Let me repeat that, The HEAD of The NCAA!

How can a big, bad, rowdy group of proud Mountaineer fans go from burning couches and claiming titles one weekend to getting angry (or Butthurt, as so many on the forum claimed) about trash talk that  honestly isn't even new or clever or really hurtful (unless you are one of the above mentioned stereotypes, in which case it's true).

People don't seem to understand trash-talk anymore in sports. The whole thing is to get into someone's head so that the goal at hand isn't as easy to achieve. Gregg Williams said it best, "A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on victory." That same mentality is active with fans just as it is players. All the time you hear road teams say we want to take the crowd out of the game. They matter just as much as the players on the field do. So with that being said, trash talk is fine and necessary for sports. It's when people want to start taking the shit that is being said personally and then things get out of line.

The passion and camaraderie of College Football is what makes it such a special and wonderful event. and people show their passion for the game and want to brag about their team and want to get their boys (and girls Title IX) fired up for the game. Taking a comment said on an opponent's fan forum so hard that you write the top suit of a top sports organization? Guess what, WVU fan who wrote that, I'm sure that the NCAA head did This with the print-out of your letter. There are over 100 Division 1-A (because I refuse to call 1-AA anything different) schools who play football, and probably have fan forum with the same kind of shit talk and chatter. Is it childish? Slightly. Are people living and dying from it, More than likely, No.

Which brings me to my next point of the fact that I am hearing that Police in Morgantown are going to be on super high alert, not just for the couch-burning, but to make sure the safety of the Kansas State fans won't be compromised. Really? I'm all for going to an opposing venue to support my teams, and I get that if you talk shit to the wrong people or cross the line at a game, you may get dealt with outside afterwards. But that's only fine if you Cross The Line. I feel that people who aren't even involved with this whole back-and-forth mess, simple casual fans making a trip to a stadium, are going to be overly harassed and possibly injured because of the harshness of this "kerfuffle" (someone else's term, not mine)

People want to slam Soccer supporters in England for their violent behavior in matches, but like everything in life there is a code that is followed. If you wanna have a good old fashioned smack-talk session and just leave it between the game, that's all fine and dandy. And if you want to take it to another level and push it to an engagement of fisticuffs, there's a group or two who will happily oblige to that as well. But when you have casual fans and families around, those are people to leave alone and let them watch the game. I understand this concept, being in all three groups at some point in time as a sports fan. Everyone has to know their stance and respect that.

In closing, my family taught me to take shit just as well as you can dish it out. And I think some fans around the nation, not just Morgantown, aren't getting that memo. Suck It Up! (and accept this ass-whuppin Colin Klein and the Wildcats are gonna give ya Saturday night)

Grab Bag #14: Fall Time Drinks, Home Shopping Hilarity and some Food Porn (the good kind)

* So, one thing I like to do year-round is change up what I'm drinking. Here are 3 tasty beverages to sip on while it starts to get cooler outside:

Boulevard

2 oz rye whiskey (I like Bulleit Rye)
1/2 oz Grand Marnier® orange liqueur
1/2 oz dry vermouth

Stir with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with flamed orange peel, and serve

Cider Punch

1 1/2 qt hard cider
4 oz Drambuie® Scotch whisky
4 oz dry sherry
2 oz lemon juice
8 oz club soda
3 cored, thinly sliced apples
1 tspgrated nutmeg

Place the cider, Drambuie, sherry, lemon juice and club soda into a large punch bowl, and stir well. Add a large block of ice, then add the slices of apple. Sprinkle nutmeg across the top, and serve. Makes 18 (6-ounce) punch cups.

Bourbon Blackhawk

2 oz bourbon whiskey
1 oz sloe gin
1 maraschino cherry

In a mixing glass half-filled with ice cubes, combine the bourbon and sloe gin. Stir and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with the cherry.

* Have you guys seen this shit? a lady selling some crap on QVC apparently faints on Live TV and her co-host just keeps talking and selling whatever crap they were getting rid of. Video of it HERE

This is right up there with some of the best home shopping bloopers of all time, like these
Retro Ladder Fail: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZhMfzc9RbU

Sword Fail: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2EQWCpnIR8

Another Ladder Fail: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC70vdm4Al0

* Today, I bought myself and my mom a ton of quality meat and seafood from Omaha Steaks. Their Website is basically a hardcore food porn site for carnivores

The One and Only Post I'll Ever Write About The WNBA, I Promise

Ok, so one event you didn't notice happening this week unless you are a degenerate gambler (cough, cough) or you have a family member involved is the start of the WNBA Playoffs. Now, I can't call myself a fan of this league. I was pissed at the lame name choice of the Chicago Sky, and even more upset that we ended up with Denver Nuggets colors. The lack of dunking from women taller than me is absurd. The amount of passing in a play reminds me of 4th grade "Everyone Touch The Ball" rules. This league needs fixing to become credible.

Of all the criticism these women get, the harshest (and unfortunately, the most truthful) is that most of them aren't exactly runway models in the visual department. While that is an unfair balance, considering you're seeing them in full game action (where looks mean jackshit) there actually are some good looking women in the league. Here's my list of 5 WNBA Players I'd Watch:

1. Lauren Jackson (Center - Seattle Storm)

They call her the "Thunder from Down Under", and I could go off on a tangent that would be classless even for Courtside Seats to Hell standards. But this Aussie beauty has been tearing up the court on the pro ranks since she was 16. With 2 WNBA Titles, 3 MVP Trophies and a host of records under her belt, L. J. has mad skills on the court. This is one tall glass of water I would gulp down anyday of the week (Did I mention she's 6'5")

2. Sammy Prahalis (Guard - Phoenix Mercury)

One of those random winter nights when I'm drunk at home flipping through channels at night, I remember stopping on ESPN2 and seeing this short, raven-haired chick raining 3's like it was NBA Jam Tournament Edition. Upon further review (Google search) I learned about Miss Samantha Prahalis, then Ohio State guard, who at the time was dating Buckeye Stud turned mediocre NBA body Evan Turner. Nowadays, Sammy is hooping in the Desert with the Phoenix Mercury.

3. Leilani Mitchell (Guard - New York Liberty)

OK, I'm gonna be flat out honest with you guys, I didn't learn about her until researching this topic 30 minutes before typing this, but I'm really upset that the Liberty just got swept out of the playoffs now after seeing her. This Australian-Indian-Filipino blend of beauty led the WNBA in 3-Point Percentage one season, and according to Wikipedia, "She developed a strong fan following and a reputation for fearlessness in grabbing loose balls and occasionally driving to the basket." I'd gladly take a charge in the paint from her.

4. Brittany Jackson (Guard - Atlanta Dream)

Another player I'd never heard of but will be keeping my eyes on, Miss Jackson is shooting from beyond the arc down in the ATL after playing 4 years under the Legendary Pat Summit. She also doubles time as a model. I would type more but I'm too busy browsing her photos

5. Candice Parker (Forward - Los Angeles Sparks)

Miss Parker is one of the few ladies in the WNBA to successfully complete a dunk in a game. That alone is worth watching, but she's quite the looker as well. Married to Brooklyn Net Sheldon Williams, this Chicago-Born gal grew up idolizing Ron Harper (who looked more like a WNBA player late in his career)

So there you have it, basically the Starting 5 I would run out if I had the revenue-sucking task of operating a WNBA franchise. I don't even know how in the fuck I was able to spend nearly an hour of life talking about Women's Hoops. This only solidifies the fact that I am a sports junkie and that I should look for another dayjob that takes up more time of my life.

The funniest part of it all is that this started as a Facebook post about how women look better than men in basketball jerseys, Unless said man is actually playing basketball. To see grown (and usually overweight) men wearing basketball jerseys in the stands just screams Inferiority Complex to me. I think of Steve Brady from Sex and the City, trying for hours to hit a half-court shot at a ballyard in the park while wearing a practice reversable. If you are 13 or younger, walking around with your favorite NBA or NCAA team's jersey is cool and acceptable, but once you hit high school, that better be your name and number on the back of that shit.

One more great tidbit, I know every WNBA team name, even the ones who dont exist anymore (R.I.P Charlotte Sting & Cleveland Rockers)

Reciever Wins Jumpball, Every Time.

Ok, normally, I won't do game reviews on this blog, but due to the overwhelming response from Twitter and Facebook, I will give you my two cents on last night's Packers-Seahawks ending and the Replacement Refs in the NFL..

Unless you live under a rock or you are too busy (I.E. Lame, Un-American) to follow what's going on in the National Football League, the normal referees are on strike, bitching about not being paid enough (NFL owners are assholes) and so the current replacement refs are from Small College divisions, Top High School states, and even that kinda-hot, kinda-shitty Lingerie Football League

That being said, they are missing a shit ton of calls in the first 3 weeks of the season. They aren't used ot the pace of the league and I knew more about the NFL rulebook when I was 6 then most of these Foot Locker employees know now on the field.

Cut to last night's Monday Night Football match-up between the Green Bay Packers (suck) and the Seattle Seahawks (really shitty team). Seattle wins 14-12 on a Hail Mary Pass by Russell Wilson completed to wideout Golden Tate. What comes down as jumpball, the pass is caught by both Tate and   Packers Cornerback M.D Jennings, and insanity ensues:

After the game, Millions of Packer fans and Packer bettors and people who think they know football wIn Monday's game between the Green Bay Packers and Seattle Seahawks, Seattle faced a 4th-and-10 from the Green Bay 24 with eight seconds remaining in the game.


This is the Official Statement From The NFL (anyone who was with me at Wild Tymes last night heard me say the exact same thing damn near word-for-word)


Seattle quarterback Russell Wilson threw a pass into the end zone. Several players, including Seattle wide receiver Golden Tate and Green Bay safety M.D. Jennings, jumped into the air in an attempt to catch the ball. 

While the ball is in the air, Tate can be seen shoving Green Bay cornerback Sam Shields to the ground. This should have been a penalty for offensive pass interference, which would have ended the game. It was not called and is not reviewable in instant replay. 

When the players hit the ground in the end zone, the officials determined that both Tate and Jennings had possession of the ball. Under the rule for simultaneous catch, the ball belongs to Tate, the offensive player. The result of the play was a touchdown. 

Replay Official Howard Slavin stopped the game for an instant replay review. The aspects of the play that were reviewable included if the ball hit the ground and who had possession of the ball. In the end zone, a ruling of a simultaneous catch is reviewable. That is not the case in the field of play, only in the end zone. 

Referee Wayne Elliott determined that no indisputable visual evidence existed to overturn the call on the field, and as a result, the on-field ruling of touchdown stood. The NFL Officiating Department reviewed the video today and supports the decision not to overturn the on-field ruling following the instant replay review. 

The result of the game is final. 

Applicable rules to the play are as follows: 

A player (or players) jumping in the air has not legally gained possession of the ball until he satisfies the elements of a catch listed here. 

Rule 8, Section 1, Article 3 of the NFL Rule Book defines a catch: 

A forward pass is complete (by the offense) or intercepted (by the defense) if a player, who is inbounds: 

(a) secures control of the ball in his hands or arms prior to the ball touching the ground; and 

(b) touches the ground inbounds with both feet or with any part of his body other than his hands; and 

(c) maintains control of the ball long enough, after (a) and (b) have been fulfilled, to enable him to perform any act common to the game (i.e., maintaining control long enough to pitch it, pass it, advance with it, or avoid or ward off an opponent, etc.). 

When a player (or players) is going to the ground in the attempt to catch a pass, Rule 8, Section 1, Article 3, Item 1 states: 

Player Going to the Ground. If a player goes to the ground in the act of catching a pass (with or without contact by an opponent), he must maintain control of the ball throughout the process of contacting the ground, whether in the field of play or the end zone. If he loses control of the ball, and the ball touches the ground before he regains control, the pass is incomplete. If he regains control prior to the ball touching the ground, the pass is complete. 

Rule 8, Section 1, Article 3, Item 5 states: 

Simultaneous Catch. If a pass is caught simultaneously by two eligible opponents, and both players retain it, the ball belongs to the passers. It is not a simultaneous catch if a player gains control first and an opponent subsequently gains joint control. If the ball is muffed after simultaneous touching by two such players, all the players of the passing team become eligible to catch the loose ball.ent to the Facebook and the Twitter and said, "That was an interception, what a fucking garbage call, dumb fake refs!"


What the Real Missed call here is Tate Pushing down Green Bay safety Sam Shields, which should have been offensive pass interference, leading to a 15 yard backpedal, which would have probably ended the game 12-7 Packers final.

But the deal is, from the 4 camera angles repeated Ad Nauseam on ESPN, 2 angles show the interference, 2 don't. The regular officials wouldn't have made a difference here. They only have one set of eyes per person and could have missed that call just as well. Instant Replay, you ask? Can't challenge the ruling of a penalty.

So while I agree with everyone about how bad these crackerjack referees are, I don't want to hear anything else about "It was an interception" because it wasn't. If you want to be mad about something, get mad about the Packer O-Line letting Aaron Rodgers lay on his back the whole first half, or the fact that they don't have a decent run game

For the record, I bet the Under in this game. #Winning.

Grab Bag #13: Lots of Stuff

Sorry that's it's been so long since I've posted on here (with the exception of my College Football Polls)

I have been busy struggling with losing my bets and out drinking, as usual. But there has been lots going on, so let's catch up right quick:

* I'm getting my feet back into the door in the world of music, I am working with some musicians on a blues project here in St. Paul and also doing some session gigs as well. This comes in perfect timing with me about to buy a new Bass Guitar this month. I will keep you guys posted on any shows I ever do right here on the blog.

* I don't know how me or my friends or anyone who likes real fuckin Rap missed this last Killer Mike album, "R.A.P".  This has to be one of the best albums I've heard in awhile. My favorite track right now is "Untitled" but you can listen to the entire album HERE

*Coming up soon will be my 2012 Election Preview. It's one of two times I will talk about the Race for President. Remember this Isn't CNN or Fox News, but keep an eye out for it within the next month.

* Fall is officially here in town, weather-wise. Time to turn off the A.C and dry clean those comforters. Here's a Whiskey to try out and I'll leave you with an awesome recipe for one of my favorite cold-weather dishes, and the closest thing to soup that I'll ever eat, Chili!



Total recipe time: 2-2-3/4 hours
Makes 4 servings

Ingredients
1-1/2 pounds Ground Round
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
Salt
Black Pepper
Paprika
1 medium onion, chopped
1 small bag of yellow and white corn
1 medium jalapeño pepper, minced (with seeds)
2 cans (14-1/2 ounces each) chili-seasoned diced tomatoes

Instructions
Heat 1 tablespoon oil in stockpot over medium heat until hot. Brown 1/2 of beef; remove from stockpot. Repeat with remaining beef. Remove beef from stockpot. Season with salt, pepper and paprika, as desired. Add remaining 1 tablespoon oil, onion and jalapeño pepper to stockpot. Cook and stir 5 to 8 minutes or until vegetables are tender. Return beef and juices to stockpot. Add tomatoes and corn; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover tightly and simmer 1-3/4 to 2-1/4 hours or until beef is fork-tender.

Never Forget...

11 Years ago on a Tuesday, our lives were changed forever. I just want to thank all of the men and women in the military, firefighters, medical staff and police of this nation, who take on the tasks of keeping all of us safe. And thoughts are with those who perished on that terrible day in New York. #neverforget #9-11-01


If You Know A Soldier, Or Even See One Out Today at a Bar or Restaraunt, Buy that Man or Woman a Drink. Cheers those who make our lives what they are today. For me to even be able to write this blog you are reading, people sacrificed everything to protect us and our nation. Never Take That For Granted!

Asking the Fans to Critique my Dating Profile

I asked a friend to do this once before and they never got around to helping me with it, so I'm leaving it  to you faithful readers to send me messages on what I should change/keep/re-arrange about my dating profile on OKCupid

Here's the link:
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/axbass

Fire away, send suggestions to courtsideseatstohell@gmail.com or leave them on the facebook page

Cute Chicks on Daytime Television

Last month, I got a TV in my bedroom, so now I'm watching a bit more television than I had been the last couple of years (Outside of sports, of course) and I thought, why not point out some of the gorgeous women I've noticed on the tube lately.

* Melissa D'arabian (Ten Dollar Dinners; Food Network)

This cute southwestern mom of 4 was one of the winner's of the Food Network's "Next Network Star" back in 2009, and now she has her own show and cookbook, featuring meals that can feed a family of 4 for just $10 bucks or less. Cute and Thrifty? That's a winning combo right there.

* Clarissa Thompson (SportsNation; ESPN2)

It takes some knowledge and talent to fill the big heels left from the amazing Michelle Beadle, but if there was one woman in sports who fit the job perfectly, it's Clarissa Thompson. She's been around for a bit, bumming along on Fox Sports Net and Big Ten Network before finally getting a shot on the big time in 2010 with ESPN. Hot, Smart, and enough sass to put that moron Colin Cowherd in his place, just like Beadle.

* Elizabeth Ries (Twin Cities Live; KSTP-5 Twin Cities) 

You live outside of Minnesota, I'm sure you've never heard of her. You live in Minnesota, You know exactly who I'm talking about (maybe). Local television around here sucks more than the Vikings and Twins do combined, but this woman is very easy on the eyes. She's been hosting this around town afternoon variety show for awhile, and hopefully, the folks at ABC notice this cutie and maybe give her a shot at the national scene. And like me, she has a cool Blog as well. She even does some double duty on the radio too.

Food Review: Stella's Fish Cafe

This past Sunday, a friend of mine texted me, wanting to go to eat somewhere with a rooftop. So myself and 2 others went to one of the best seafood spots in the Twin Cities, Stella's Fish Cafe in Uptown Minneapolis.

What makes this rooftop so special, is that it has 2 different levels. One spot that is more of a Bar & Apps kinda level and the very top of the restaurant is more of a dining area. it's a perfect spot to take a date for a sunset dinner or to reserve and have a classy dinner party (which they do offer) This spot also has a wonderful bar and 2 levels inside that have the perfect blend of fun and class that is missing from a lot of the hipster, bro-ish bars and spots in the surrounding area.

The food was nothing short of amazing. They offer tons of options throughout the seafood world, from over a half-dozen different varieties of Oysters, several types of fish, from Walleye toP Tilapia to Swordfish, and of course, Shrimp and Lobster.

I had the East Coast Swordfish, which came with a select choice of sauces and veggies. I chose to have the ponzu sauce with the side of wasabi and broccoli. The Japanese influenced flavors went perfectly with the delicate fish. My friends had the grilled Salmon and the Lobster Pasta. One drawback was the lack of decent garlic bread, something that is usually found in any seafood place. But overall, the portions were well-sized and the presentation was fantastic.

Overall, I give Stella's Fish Cafe 4.5 out of 5 Flames

Stella's Fish Cafe
1400 West Lake Street
Minneapolis
Phone: (612) 824-8862

that's a Hang Wiff'em...

Hang wiff'em = A baseball term, famously coined by Sox broadcaster Hawk Harrelson; used to describe a hard hit ball that is heading right to a fielder's glove for an out. The fact that a batter hit the ball hard enough to get a base hit, but landed in the wrong spot means it will "hang with" the player, as he thinks about it.

So here's the scenario. It's midnight at a bar in Dinkytown (U of M Campus area, for you non-minnesotans) and I'm there with a friend-girl (described in a previous post) and she talks to some dude who mentioned South America (where she was traveling abroad this summer). Eventually, we get invited to his table, which consisted of (from left to right) a gay dude, a quiet dude, a cute girl, a really quiet dude with gauges, and travel guy. During name exchange introductions, they mention that they live in St. Paul, and the cute girl says she lives in a house over east and is looking for extra roommates next month.

Key Point: she looks at quiet guy and really quiet gauge guy and says those are her current roommates.

So, at this point I'm nodding along and listening. I see her grab both of them beers along with her drink, which seems to solidify the claim of them being just roommates. As time passes, and I know I'm going to leave I casually mention that "I actually have someone moving here soon. My brother is looking to stay around st.paul" The squeeze bunt play works to perfection as she goes, "Here, take down my number". At this point I type the number in my phone, smile, and wish the table a good night.

This seems to have all the makings of a perfect 9th inning rally, so I decide to play offense and go for the winning run. So when I got home, I sent this text:

Me:
"Hey I'm gonna keep it real with you, my buddy isn't moving up here. I said that to see if I could get your number. You're cute and you said your friends were just your roommates so I'm making the bold assumption you're single? If I'm wrong then forgive me and I'll pretend this didn't happen, but if I'm right, I'd like to take you to dinner somewhere at some point"

So, I'm thinking here's the runner advancing to 3rd on the way to home. She replies:

Her:
Goodness, well thank you. I'm actually not single :( the guy sitting next to me in the black shirt and stretched ears is my boyfriend... I'm sorry :(

Out at the plate, ballgame over, drive home safely.

But one giant plus out of this is that she said later:

Her:
You seem like a good guy, don't give up on the bold moves. If I was single, I'd be impressed by your creativity.

But what kills me is how this guy was so distant and didn't look like he was even her good friend, let alone her boyfriend. I understand not being "That" couple, but for the love of pizza, at least look like your dating the damn person next to ya. Because remember, what one dude doesn't appreciate, another dude certainly will.

Anyways, I thanked her and wished her a good night. Not bad for an on-the-fly play. But "That's a hang wiff'em right there."

UPDATE: Changes made to the Football Days Schedule

http://axsmith.blogspot.com/2012/07/courtside-seats-to-hell-presents.html

Some new updates and changes to the Football Days events, Including a new Tailgate party in Chicago for the Northwestern - Boston College game on September 15th.