This Morning, I read a transcript and subsequently watched a YouTube video of Kanye West's Freestyle in London http://news.rapgenius.com/Kanye-west-london-speech-lyrics (YouTube video is on the top right hand corner of the page) and it just solidified, not only the state of the music world, but the reason I had to leave it.
I'm not necessarily on his side about the feelings he has for the topics he mentions. He's upset about how the art form of music has been overran by the mass corporate world. I realised that I am part of the problem when it comes to the change of music. I went to McNally Smith College of Music, a place where about 98% of the students and 110% of the faculty are completely dedicated to not just the sound, but the sanctity of Music. They have a inner devotion to their craft but also the way the craft is formed. And personally, I couldn't be any further away than that.
Don't get me wrong. I want to do the best work I possibly can as a performer (Which is what I always call myself, Rarely did I say that I'm a musician, because I truly never and still don't feel that way)
I picked up a bass as a child to impress a girl. In failing miserably, I decided to get better and better because I felt this was an easy way to have people take notice of you. Over time, playing music was a release from all of the anger and depression I faced growing up and I felt that, after practicing and becoming a really good bass player, I could make a (fairly easy) living at this.
Once I got to Minnesota, I met a bunch of musicians who I thought I shared the same dream with:
My Dreams
1: Get Rich
2: Get Laid
3: Basically Do Whatever I Feel Like Because I'm Famous
I was wrong.
Their Dreams (actual quotes I overheard at school)
1: Get to play music for the rest of their lives and not go broke
2: Get a degree, solidifying to people how much they know about Music
3. Earning the respect of their peers within the industry
After 3 months of being yelled at and ridiculed for not following the mold of every sucker who will be in massive debt when they finish running the maze, I left. And that day my Music career started. I joined a couple of projects, played some shows. and then 3 years later, it's the beginning of 2013. I just left the most successful thing I had ever been a part of in my life at that point and It hit me that I didn't want to find my dream in music anymore.
I didn't mind the business part of music, In fact I loved it. I knew that was the way to strike it rich and I was full on into "Selling Out" myself. My old band was not about that. They wanted to make it big and get paid as well, but they cared about the music first and foremost. And on top of it all is that I was finally happy in life and so I didn't need the escape of music like I did a decade ago. I could manage my ups and downs without playing my bass for 8 straight hours.
So when I listened to Kanye's Speech/Freestyle, It just reminded me of why I needed to leave Music and why I don't regret making this move for a second. I am so happy now working with my first and true loves, Sports and Gambling, so I am not complaining. But I am writing this because I know a lot of people ask me, "Are you still playing?" "Why did you leave and give it up?" So I wanted to put some closure to that.
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