My Top 10 Favorite YouTube videos

So, what's the coolest thing on the internet (besides porn. And this blog, of course)
YouTube. Here are my All-Time Favorite YouTube videos

10. The Spirit of Truth Minister

OK, so I'm not even remotely religious in the conventional sense, which is probably why I find this really funny and everyone else thinks it's super fuckin offensive. Gotta love an ex-con who beautifully blends Mystikal and Moses.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwsWskgKe5E


9. Howard Dean - BYAHHH!!!

Pretty much one of my favorite moments in U.S. Political History. An old white guy screaming like he's at a Jimmy Buffet concert, when he was really at a Warren Buffet-funded rally.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5FzCeV0ZFc


8. Wheel of Fortune Crackhead

Best. Game Show Contestant. Ever.  God Bless You, Raymond Taylor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aceuaYKC8lI


7. Chicago Blackhawks Commercial from 2008

Cool commercial. Check out :22 mark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFGOSdsC6xc


6. Gary Goodridge's KO in UFC

Back when the UFC was super new and super fucking awesome, crazy shit like this happened.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Z2Phyg6qpM


5, Jan Terri - Losing You

There is a lot, and I mean A LOT of Bad music on YouTube. Here's the winner. Gotta love the old Chicago landmark drops too
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLqvQUoxLFI


4. Gimme My Muthafuckin Change Back

Good ole humorous racism at it's finest. This lil' kid ain't playin'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IC-7_sQNINA


3. Drinking Out of Cups

Take a hilarious rant and mix it with a funny animation and you have this piece of YouTube gold.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IzipOWDaQk


2. Git Outta My Binnis Nigga

A pack of drunks arguing. That's funny enough. Then it gets better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii3OIguICOo


1. James Brown Drunk

A classic gem that would have been overlooked and buried away with the Godfather of Soul himself had it not been for YouTube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tfNhL_R_rI

Grab Bag #8: Hippies Suck, Cabs aren't much better, Perfect Hot Dog and Have a Safe Holiday!

* So last weekend back in Chicago, the NATO and G8 Summits went down and shit was crazy all over the city. Fucking Hippie Protesters kept popping up all over the place and riot cops did their best to not just outright kill them (where's Old Man Daley when ya need him, eh?) Watching this shit on the news made me really glad I didn't try to go home then.

* I'm getting really sick of the unprofessionalism of the Cab companies in Saint Paul. They wanna always bitch about getting fucked by the city council and how people don't tip and are rude to them. Maybe it's because the majority of them are providing a service at a shitty level. Punctuality is just lost on some of these drivers. Maybe it's part of that soft Minnesota passive bullshit but if I call a goddamn cab, it's because I have somewhere to go at a certain time. Lollygag on your own damn time off work.

* I wanna hear some feedback on my Sexual Rant, "Head is Overrated". E-mail me at courtsideseatstohell@gmail.com and voice your thoughts and opinions on the subject

* Over the last year, I have been working on taking a bunch of my recipes and making a cookbook. Since Grilling season is in full swing, I will post up some recipes in the near future.... Like now:

The Perfect Hot Dogs
- 1 pack Kosher All-Beef Hot Dogs (none of the pork/horse combo bullshit, real beef)
- 1 white onion
- 1 yellow and red pepper
- 2 cheap cans of beer (I prefer MGD or Carling Black Label)
- 1 tablespoon black pepper
- 1 teaspoon celery salt
Optional: Ketchup*, bright green relish

Get a stock pot, pour in 1 1/2 cans of beer, add the peppers and onions, along with the pepper and celery salt, boil on medium-low for 5-7 minutes. Start up grill and finish off 1/2 can of beer while boiling, if desired, warm the hot dog buns on the grill upon starting for 30 seconds a bun. Turn off pot, and place dogs and veggies on the grill. Cook until charred. Remove peppers and onion and chop in bite-sized piece. Top dog with peppers, onions, ketchup* and relish. Add extra celery salt and pepper if desired.

*Note: Yes, I am from Chicago and I put ketchup on my hot dogs. I hate mustard. We can fight about this if you like.

Happy Memorial Day! God Bless our Servicemen & women! And drink, don't drive. Call a cab (if they'll actually pick ya up, the lazy fucks)

Head is Overrated: a Sex Rant

Note: this post is graphic in nature. (aka pretty fuckin dirty, like verbal porn) so be careful where you read this. It's posts like this why I have that semi-annoying disclamer upon entering the site.

Yep, you read the title correctly. I find that getting my dick sucked, while it is awesome, it is somewhat overrated. Most guys are obsessed with head. Don't believe me? Watch any standard porn scene online. It starts with either some shitty dialogue or a conversation, then it turns into a kiss, then maybe he goes down on her for like 2 minutes and then comes this fucking marathon 45 minute blowjob before the banging starts.

Really? I mean, It's hot to look down and see a girl slobbing on my knob, but when I see someone else giving a guy head, it's not that exciting. It's the same feeling people have about baseball, folks will tell me," I like playing it, but not watching it" or "I'd rather watch it live than on television"

Now, I've had some amazing mind (load) blowing head and I've had some pretty awful head as well, but overall it's just a preface before the real story begins. If I go to Chili's, I'm not trying to get full off the chips and salsa. If I'm getting blown, eventually I would like to be fucking soon after.

Conversely, I am a huge fan of eating out. Knowing that I'm pleasuring a girl in such a intimate manner without the use of hands (mostly) is a turn-on for me. And I get that there are women who feel the same about fellatio.

I just feel that most men like to be selfish in bed. And head is the definite example of that. I mean, how many jokes do we hear about women who don't have to give head now that they are married? They didn't just randomly come up with those like dead baby jokes, there's a reason for it.

Sick of the "Scene": a Bar Rant

I really don't think I can do this anymore. I'm 2 weeks away from turning 23, and I have damn near had it with the bar scene. I went to a popular bar in St. Paul the other week, and I got to witness a clinic in what people are doing wrong in this "Scene"

Men and women of my generation need to get their shit together. These girls wonder why the fucking general history major at the local college with the flip-flops, backwards cap and hoody bought you a drink and then called you a bitch when you didn't kiss him after he grabbed your ass? Well here's how that might have been avoided:

1. Ladies, If a guy is buying you a drink, there is a 85-90% chance he has thought about wanting to sleep with you.

This isn't a secret, it's fucking fact. Has been and always will be forever. A guy buying a drink is the icebreaker. For a woman to think otherwise is pretty fuckin stupid. There are exceptions to every rule but you can figure those out just as easily. Just pay some goddamn attention.

2. Dude, Have some Fucking Class!

You look like a douchebag wearing a backwards ballcap with a polo and flip-flops should be left to girls at the beach. You shouldn't be taken seriously looking like you watched porn at home all day. And stop being so fucking pushy. After a while, a girl can figure out what it is you are looking for, and if she can't, then spell it out politely or go seek elsewhere.

3. Girls, don't pull this double switch shit.

You are an attractive looking woman wearing a super tight shirt or dress or jeans with sequins on the ass and high heels. You are going to get stared down all fucking night by men, young and old, taken or single. DO NOT get a fucking attitude when this happens because you know this will happen and that's why you bought the damn outfit in the first fuckin place.

4. Everyone Needs To Be Fucking Honest With Each Other.

The biggest rule everyone needs to follow. Guys, if you're at the bar looking to pull some ass for the night, don't hit on the girl with her arms folded in the corner. Ladies, don't be a bitch and take 4 shots with a guy and then walk away from him because "he's being creepy". Go to the bar and do whatever it is you set out to do, but keep in mind that everyone is there for different reasons. It doesn't make one side better than the other, people just need to communicate better.

3 Drinks You Should Try This Summer

So, summer is basically upon us. This is the time of the year where I lighten up my liquor color,
but increase my intake. So here are 3 drinks you will catch me sippin' on from Now till Labor Day.

Twisted Sister
3 oz Seagram's Gin
2 oz 7-UP
Juice of a Lemon & a Lime
Fill rocks glass with ice, squeeze Lemon and Lime over the ice, then add Gin and 7-UP

New Thug Passion
3 oz Belvidere
2 oz Fu-Ki Cherry Sake
Shake with ice and strain in a rocks glass neat


The Chateau Cooler
3 oz Absolut Grapevine (Passion fruit & Guava Flavored Vodka)
2 oz Nuvo Sparkling Liqueur
2 oz Dole Tangerine Aqua Fresca
dash of Goldschlager
Shake with ice and strain in a rocks glass neat, garnish with Lime